Silence
by fetching
Summary: When the threat of the Volturi returns, no one is considered safe. This family is shattered, the remains will never fit together again, not properly. But maybe with a little hope, they can survive.
1. Silence

**I own nothing but my ideas. The rest belongs to the great Stephenie Meyer. I hope you enjoy this, it might not be great but this idea has been nagging my brain the last couple of days…now-on with the story!!! P.S. this is set post-Breaking Dawn.**

Carlisle could be many things. Carlisle could be strategic, calm, sensitive, loving, caring, thoughtful, wise, gentle, angry, upset, stressed, scared, or completely apathetic. However, no matter what Carlisle was feeling, he was always, always in control of his emotions. Carlisle could also play many roles. Carlisle could be a leader, a doctor, a businessman, a gentleman, a husband, a friend, a guide, and, most prominently, a father. Again, no matter what role Carlisle was playing, he always wore the perfect mask to complete it. Most of the time, I was able to tell both what he was feeling and what role he was playing; as was the rest of our family. But today, today was different.

The Volturi was set to go to war with our family today after Edward and Alice had, once again, refused to join them in Italy. The Volturi refused to call off the attack unless at least one of us sacrificed ourselves to save our family. Carlisle, for once, had no solution to the problem at hand. Of course, being the selfless man that he is, he suggested he give himself for the protection of his family. That idea was shot down before it was even voiced; Edward having read his mind was the first to object. Alice had had a vision of what tactics they would employ during our battle.

"They're most upset with me and Edward. They'll take Renesmee first; they want to make sure that Edward and Bella will suffer." She choked. "Then they'll kill Bella…and then they'll go after Jasper. After that they'll kill Emmett, then Rosalie, then Carlisle…" She paused for a second and unnecessarily inhaled, "After Carlisle will be Esme, Edward…and they'll save me for last. Jacob will be killed at some point too. They don't care when they kill him, but they'll fight to keep our death list in order."

Alice looked up at me through shocked eyes. "Esme, they want you to die near the end so that you'll watch almost all of your children die. They know that we're your biggest weakness and they want to take advantage of it."

So now, here we were. Carlisle and I sat on our bed facing each other; not touching, not breathing, not blinking, just staring. It was not a time to talk. It was a time to just be with each other. Carlisle was wearing a mask, a mask that hid all emotions, and for once, I couldn't see through it. Carlisle had never completely shut me out before, nor had he ever taken his mask completely off. I looked down at my hands resting lightly on my lap and thought idly about every time Carlisle had held them; every time he had held them to lead me, to comfort me, to escort me, to simply place a kiss on the back. Every touch had meant so much, and it was now that I realized how simple actions such as those always seem to mean the most. I looked back at Carlisle to see the mask still in place, no emotion to be found.

"Esme, I could save everyone." He said blankly. "If you'd just let me-"

"No. How many times do I have to tell you? You think it would help me to just give yourself in our place. What you don't understand is that if you let yourself die, then you're killing me too. Without you life holds no meaning for me. There is no purpose for me but to suffer. Your death is something I would not live through. I would walk through life blind if not for your light guiding the way."

"I just don't know what other option there is to save us all."

I looked at him carefully, studying his features and gently prodded him to look back up at me.

"Carlisle, the only thing for us to do now is hope; hope that we all make it out of this mess; hope that we'll all be alright."

_I looked away; then I looked back at you_

_You tried to say, the things that you can't undo_

_If I had my way, I'd never get over you_

_Today's the day I pray that we make it through_

_Make it through the fall_

_Make it through it all_

The last thing I wanted to do right now was breakdown. This was the time for me to be strong. I had to prove to Carlisle that I could handle this battle; that he didn't have to protect me. In this battle I would make sure that he had nothing to focus on except saving himself. Even if I didn't survive this, my last actions would make certain that he did. Knowing that I might not see him again after today was heart wrenching, it made my insides squirm and my eyes sting with non existent tears. All I wanted was to stare at him; to memorize every detail, because if death was to be lonely, I wanted an angel, my angel etched into my mind.

_And I don't want to fall to pieces_

_I just want to sit and stare at you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

_And I don't want a conversation_

_I just want to cry in front of you_

_And I don't want to talk about it_

'_Cause I'm in love with you_

Again, looking at Carlisle, I found that the mask was still in place. I wondered how he could manage it for so long. Then again, Carlisle had always been the most collected of us all. I had always been the least. Emotions were something I had never gained perfect control of. Of course I could attempt holding them in, or tone them down a bit but never have I been able to completely hide them as Carlisle does, and is doing now. How many times had I hid in my room to let out the small sobs that escaped me after recollecting my past? How many times had I broken a door or mirror out of frustration? And time and time again, Carlisle would always be there. He never gave any signs of worry or doubt or anger-he would just hold me until I calmed down. The worst of these commotions had been about a week ago, after hearing of the oncoming attack. Everything in me transferred into rage and I lost control completely.

***FLASHBACK***

"**WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS?!" I screeched. Everyone had gone hunting to give Carlisle and I privacy to discuss what was coming.**

"**Esme, dear please calm down." Carlisle said soothingly.**

"**No! I will not calm down!" I screamed again. I reached for the lamp and heaved it through the wall. "They keep trying to ruin OUR family when they don't get their way! I'm so sick of it! We're all in danger again! It's ALL THEIR FAULT!" I punctuated each of the last three words with a hole in the wall using my fists.**

"**Esme, you're right. It is their fault. You have the complete and total right to be angry, but you mustn't behave like this. Think of what would happen if the children walked in right now. We must be strong for them." He reasoned.**

"**I don't want to be strong!" I shouted. "That's what got us into this mess! Being strong! Having powers!" I rammed my fist into the mirror hanging on the bedroom wall, causing it to shatter into thousands of tiny shards. Carlisle came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, holding on tightly so that I couldn't run. I turned in his arms so that I was facing him.**

"**Let me go!" I hissed. I struggled in his arms but Carlisle had me in a death grip. "Let go!"**

"**No."**

"**I said let go!" I wiggled my arms out of his grasp and started hitting his chest. When he didn't let go, I swung back my arm and slapped him across the face. Just by looking at him I could tell that this hurt him, not physically, but emotionally. I had never resorted to hitting anyone before, not out of anger. And now, here I was, hitting the man I loved more than life itself because I had lost control. And I hadn't been hitting lightly, I was packing force. When I realized this I went limp and began shaking. Carlisle, still holding on to me, placed one arm behind my knees and lifted me up, cradling me to his chest.**

"**What's wrong with me?" I sobbed.**

"**Nothing is wrong with you Esme. Everyone needs to let out emotions and everyone lets off steam in a different way. There is nothing wrong with you for doing what everyone else does."**

"**You don't." I whispered. He said nothing.**

***END FLASHBACK***

And again, Carlisle had calmed me until I was completely under control. God only knows what I would do without him. Carlisle is all I want and all I will ever need. I wasn't going to give up easily today.

_You're the only one_

_I'd be with 'till the end_

_When I come undone_

_You bring me back again_

_Back under the stars_

_Back into your arms_

There was so much I had learned about Carlisle over time; so much that fascinated me about him. Yet, there was still more that I wanted to know. I wanted to know every detail. Everything he had experienced in his 3 centuries of life; even things from before this life had started! From his childhood! There were so many memories to hear about, I couldn't even begin to figure out where to start!

Looking up at him I noticed something new. There was a strange glint in his eyes. Something that was barely noticeable, but had most certainly not been there before. I wanted desperately to know how he felt. Even just a small fraction of what he felt, just to have a clue as to what he was thinking. Anything, anything and everything.

_Wanna know who you are_

_Wanna know where to start_

_I wanna know what this means…_

_Wanna know how you feel_

_Wanna know what is real_

_I wanna know everything,_

_Everything…_

And just like that, Carlisle broke. The mask snapped and his face crumpled in agony as he began to hysterically choke and dry-sob. I reached my arms out to him and he placed his head on my shoulder, shaking and sobbing.

"W-why us?" he managed through the tears.

"I don't know honey, I just don't know." I replied quietly.

He just cried. Though tears were non-existent, he was clearly being tortured on the inside. I was so close to breaking with him. So close. But, for once in my life, I had to be strong. I had to make it through for him. Carlisle needed me. Now was not my time to quit.

"I c-can't l-let you g-go." He choked. The truth was, I couldn't let him go either. I was gripping tightly around his shoulders as he buried his head in the crook of my neck. I couldn't let him leave me – not forever.

"I need you. I l-love you. I love you s-so m-much…" he whispered. That was all he repeated. I love you. Over and over again. And all I could do was hold him. I couldn't tell him it would be okay; that would be a lie. I had no way of comforting him. No promises I could make. All I could do was hold him – and pray to god that it would help, if only just a little. After all, we were all we had to lose.

_And I don't want to fall to pieces_

_I just want to sit and stare at you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

_And I don't want a conversation_

_I just want to cry in front of you_

_And I don't want to talk about it_

'_Cause I'm in love with you,_

_I'm in love with you,_

_I'm in love with you…_

**Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed my story. I KNOW I enjoyed writing it. I actually cried while writing the ending. So while I sit here in tears I would like to ask you to review!! It would be greatly appreciated!!**

**-Silverlilly92**


	2. NOTE: PLEASE READ

**Hey guys!! Sorry to all of you who thought this was a chapter. Believe me I absolutely hate authors notes but I had to say this.**

**I have been getting reviews asking for me to continue this story. I will let you in on a secret of mine. I am VERY uncreative. So it does take me a while to come up with a story plot. HOWEVER- I have two reviews so far that would like me to write more. If I receive TEN reviews that would like me to continue, I will try my best to write a story with an interesting plot line. **

**Cupcakes for all reviewers,**

**Silverlilly92**


	3. Can I hold her?

**Bonjour! Well readers, I have some very exciting news. I have gotten NINE reviews asking for more. ****But since I'm ONE request off, and because you guys rock my socks with all the comments I**_** guess **_**it wouldn't be **_**so**_** bad to write another chapter. I'm really trying my best to make this chapter as good as the last one. I hope you guys enjoy it!**

**I own nothing except the right to bake cupcakes with the otherwise useless flames.**

_So I guess I'm not a total loss,_

_And a little stronger now_

_You will never know how much it costs,_

_To get away with life so loud_

Carlisle could be many things. Carlisle could be strategic, calm, sensitive, loving, caring, thoughtful, wise, gentle, angry, upset, stressed, scared, or completely apathetic. However, no matter what Carlisle was feeling, he was always, always in control of his emotions. Carlisle could also play many roles. Carlisle could be a leader, a doctor, a businessman, a gentleman, a husband, a friend, a guide, and, most prominently, a father. Again, no matter what role Carlisle was playing, he always wore the perfect mask to complete it; but not today. Today, Carlisle was empty; empty, hollow, broken. There was no emotion present, no role being played. He was not happy, nor was he sad or upset. Yet, it couldn't be described as apathy, no, it was far beyond the reach of apathy. Carlisle was gone. This was the only word that could be even remotely close to beginning what Carlisle was. The only word that was close enough to describe the endless blank stare. There was no life in his eyes. It was like looking into a dark hole – nothing to be seen – nothing to be known. Except maybe what waited at the bottom. Which was really all Esme wanted to know.

**Esme POV**

"Carlisle." I meant for the name to come as a demand; a demand to look at me, to move, to show me that he wasn't completely lost. Instead it sounded as if I were pleading.

"Yes." That was it. But I knew, a part of me knew – this wasn't just a respond to his name. It was much more than a response. It was a yes that stood for 'I'm still here, I'm still with you and I'll get through this – but not just yet.' It was a yes that stood for 'I still need time, but, please, don't give up on me.' And I wouldn't. There was no way in hell that I could ever give up on Carlisle. Especially not after this.

**Jasper POV**

Gone. Completely and utterly gone. All of them. My family, my friends, my siblings. Emmett, Bella, Edward, Jacob – all gone. I still had Alice. God bless Alice because she may be the only thing keeping me sane; her, and the little girl in my arms. Renesmee, physically seven years old, had lost everything. She had no parents, one less uncle, and no best friend. I don't think she quite grasps the concept of death. She keeps asking for them. And really; I don't know how to answer.

***FLASHBACK***

"**Jacob! Run!" I shouted. There was no way they were getting to Renesmee without a fight. Jacob instantly swung Renesmee onto his back and took off at top speed. Until Jane followed. Edward knew. I could sense the fear gripping him as soon as Jane left. I also knew that he wouldn't stand for it. I was right. After all, she is his only daughter. Edward pressed his lips to Bella's one last time before chasing after their daughter, Jacob, and Jane into the thick forest.**

**Carlisle and Esme were together, side by side, fighting for each other. They're emotions were overwhelming. Love, compassion, anger, hurt and the unbearable urge to protect. They were fighting for all the right reasons. Emmett was taking down everything possible that even came close to Rosalie. Of course, she was also fighting, but not nearly to the same extent. I had over heard them talking earlier while we hunted. Emmett had made Rosalie promise to follow his every instruction. So, if he deemed it necessary and told her to run, she would have no choice – no matter the consequences. Alice was fighting not three feet away from me. I had no worries for her, not yet. She was fast, much too fast to worry about, unless she was caught. Then I would step in; rip off the hands of whoever grabbed her. If there was one person I would give my life for, it was Alice.**

**We were losing, without a doubt. There was no possible way that we could win – even with Bella's shield.**

"**Rosalie, run now!" Emmett shouted.**

"**But…"**

"**No Rose! Now!"**

**She took one last glance at his face and gave a quick peck to the lips. And she knew; somehow she knew that this would be their last moment.**

"**I love you." She whispered. As she ran from the clearing, Emmett called to her their final parting words.**

"**Forever and ever Rosie."**

**As soon as Rosalie was gone, a horrible screeching noise was heard. Starting out as a scream, it abruptly turned to a high pitched wailing noise – and stopped. And there was no mistake as to who it was. Edward was gone. The flash of pain was so brilliant that I almost yelped. It had undoubtedly come from Bella. That was all she felt, her only dominant emotion – pain, suffering, complete agony. Yet she kept fighting. She kept her shield strong, never letting go. Alice's eyes flashed to me for a second and I knew where she was going. Jacob could not protect Renesmee alone, and there was nothing she could do here. As she ran past I heard a soft whisper – 'I'm sorry.' – and she was gone. And then Bella took control.**

"**Everybody leave!" She shouted. "I can't hold out much longer and there's no point in losing more than we have to!"**

**She knew that we were losing. She knew that her shield was the only thing holding back the attacks enough for us to live; and she was willing to give her life for us.**

"**Please, just know that I love you all, but I need you to do this for me." She pleaded brokenly. And so, we did. Carlisle and Esme ran hand in hand past Bella into the forest.**

"**Thank you." Esme said as they passed. It was all there was time to say, but Bella understood. It was a replacement for everything that they didn't have time to say. For the years that could've been spent as a family, for the life that was being lost.**

"**Emmett!" I called to him. "Are you coming?"**

"**No. I have to help. She can't do this alone. Just, tell Rose – tell Rose that I said goodbye."**

"**Okay." I responded; because nothing else logical came to mind.**

"**Brothers to the end?" he shouted.**

"**The very end." I called back, completing the phrase we had made up decades ago. As I turned my gaze away, I was stopped one more by a hand on my chest. Bella looked up at me with pleading eyes.**

"**Jasper." She begged quietly "Take care of my little girl."**

**I gave a grim nod. What else could I do for the person saving our lives?**

"**Thank you Bella." I said and gave her a hug before finally taking off into the forest.**

**When I found who I was looking for I completely threw myself into the action. I jumped on Jane and quickly helped Alice finish what must have been a bloody battle. As we set fire to the pieces, we threw Edward into the flames as well, the only funeral there was time to give. Turning away from the now billowing purple smoke we heard a slight sniffle. We turned to find a tiny Renesmee, crawling to the motionless body of a massive, russet wolf. She placed her tiny hands on the shoulder.**

"**Jacob. Jacob. Wake up Jacob." She said quietly. "Are you tired?" Pause. "You're very tired Jacob, that's why you're not waking up right?" Pause. "I think I'll let you sleep then." She bent down and put a tiny kiss on the side of the great wolf's muzzle.**

"**Renesmee." Alice said tentatively. "I think it's time to let Jacob sleep honey."**

"**Okay." She sighed. Just as Renesmee stood up, Esme and Carlisle ran up with a blanket and two shovels. **

"**Hi gramma Esme." Renesmee yawned sleepily.**

"**Hello sweetie." She replied, smiling sadly. "Are you tired Renesmee?"**

**She just nodded in response, climbing slowly into Esme's arms as the blanket was tucked around her. She wrapped her arms around Esme's neck and rested her head on her shoulder as she peacefully drifted off.**

"**Alice, go back to the house with them. We can handle things here."**

"**I love you Jazzy." She whispered. I placed a kiss to her forehead, stained with blood and dirt before she walked away.**

**Carlisle threw me a shovel and our work began. We worked silently and quickly and when we were done we tossed the shovels aside. As we placed the massive body into the grave I silently wondered if Jacob would've wanted to die as a wolf, to take his last breath as a true protector. Carlisle stood at the head of the grave and began quietly.**

"**Today we lie to rest, the body of Jacob Black along with the souls of Emmett McCarty-Cullen, Edward Anthony Masen-Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan-Cullen. Lord, we ask that you accept these souls to the gates of heaven as you forgive them of their sins. We pray that you take them home and care for them as yours. Lord, these are the people who have given their lives for the benefit of others and lived each day to better the lives of those around them. May they be safe and protected from the burdens of earth as their souls part from us. Amen."**

**After filling the grave back with dirt I found four large rocks and labeled them each by scraping the letters with my fingers.**

'**Jacob Black – age 16'**

'**Edward Anthony Masen-Cullen – age 105'**

'**Emmett McCarty-Cullen – age 92'**

'**Isabella Marie Swan-Cullen – age 18'**

**As we placed the headstones in a row and took our final steps away, I knew that nothing was going to be the same. We were much to broken to be the same.**

***END FLASHBACK***

Rosalie left. She told us that she would be gone for a while. God, I wish she were here. She was the one who wanted a child; the one who would protect Renesmee with all her heart. Alice and I never raised a child. Hell, Alice didn't remember _being _a child. I had never held a child in my entire life; until Renesmee of course. I guess this is what it comes to though. I promised Bella that I would take care of her daughter, no matter what the cost. This one little girl held our future in her hands; the sole reason we have to pull through this. As I watched Alice stare lovingly at the sleeping Renesmee in my arms, I felt the emotion in the room. That's when the truth hit. There was love coming from Alice, an undying devotion directed to Renesmee, something that I had only felt before from Bella. The kind of motherly bond that was nearly impossible to break. I knew right then that this was much bigger than we had planned for; and it was sealed with five words.

"Jasper, can I hold her?"

**Well, I hope you guys liked chapter two. I'm sorry that it was mostly Jasper but I liked the idea of being able to feel people's emotions during the battle. Writing the part about Renesmee trying to wake up Jake definitely made me sniffle but hey, it's part of life. So I hope I get some nice reviews, and if not some constructive criticism would also be nice. Anyways, see you guys in chapter 3!**

**-Silverlilly92**

**Song used:**

**Been There Done That by Hedley**


	4. Goodnight

**Welcome back! You have now entered the third chapter of Silence. I'm glad that you all liked the last chapter. I will try my best to keep up the plot. This chapter is dedicated to **MercedesBaybee **who was the one who promised to review from ten different accounts and has been asking for more Carlisle. There will be a lot of Carlisle in this chapter so I hope you all enjoy!!**

**I own nothing but the right to write.**

_So we've been outnumbered_

_Raided and now cornered_

_It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair_

_We're getting stronger now_

_Find things they never found_

_They might be bigger_

_But we're faster and never scared_

_You can walk away, say we don't need this_

_But there's something in your eyes_

_Says we can beat this_

**Carlisle POV**

It had been a month since the battle. A month since my world fell apart. A month since Esme tried picking up the pieces. I had become so dependant upon her. She was always in my presence. I followed her around like a lost puppy, fearing that if I didn't, the grief would overtake me again. She had been trying so hard. My beautiful Esme. My angel.

At first I was broken. So devastatingly, agonizingly broken; but she hadn't given up. Every day, as I sat motionless and unresponsive, she waited. She talked to me, tried to comfort me, _begged _me. I was so stubborn, so unjustifiably stubborn, that I just wallowed in grief. I couldn't do that anymore. I had to snap back. I had a wife and two children who had just become new parents to my granddaughter. They needed me just as much as I needed them. It was time to face it. Some of my children were gone and they took half my heart with them. Now that other half needed to work twice as hard to repair the damage. I would make it happen; for the sake of our family. I would start with Esme.

I walked from my study to the living room where Alice and Renesmee sat playing. Alice and Jasper had been sp strong through this whole thing. They had survived the battle together, saved Renesmee and were now raising her. Jasper was probably distraught with all the emotions and yet he still kept it all together. Alice, on the other hand, had been hunting less frequently for fear of leaving Renesmee alone. She absolutely adored that little girl; even a blind man would be able to tell.

"Hi Grampa Carlisle." Renesmee waved happily. She seemed to be oblivious to the fact that her parents were missing. We had tried to tell her that they wouldn't be coming back. What with her speedy growth she didn't tend to remember things that well. Apparently her memories of her parents were already cloudy. She would try to communicate with thoughts. She would try to picture their faces but they would usually show up very blurry. More recent memories began to stick though. She would often be found wondering where Jasper was, or what Alice was up to.

"Hello Nessie." I said softly. "Alice, have you seen Esme?"

"She should be out in the garden."

"Thank you." I began to head for the door when Alice muttered a 'one minute sweetie' to Renesmee and blocked my path.

"Carlisle, are you okay? We haven't seen you in nearly a month. We're all worried about you. Even Nessie is beginning to wonder." She said in hushed tones.

"I'm fine Alice. It's just been a very bad month for me. I've had a hard time getting over this but I'm going to try."

"We're all here for you Carlisle. We always have been." She patted my shoulder and walked back to Renesmee.

I walked out into the back garden and sure enough, heard Esme humming a tune. She was standing watering some flowers when I walked up. I stepped close behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist as I buried my face in her hair. She jumped and dropped the hose.

"Goodness Carlisle, I…"

"I'm sorry." I cut her off mid-sentence. She understood what I meant. I was sorry for not answering her all month, for not being around when I was needed, and for making this harder than it had to be.

"You could've answered me sooner," She said quietly. I knew she was hurt. All she wanted was an answer and I wouldn't even give her that.

"I'm sorry." I repeated. "I know I was stupid and you at least deserved my co-operation but I'm going to try now. I'm going to try and fix things the best I can. I have to try and fix this family Esme. I know I don't deserve to ask for anything after how I treated you but I can't do this alone. I need your help."

"Okay."

___

I walked into the living room silently. Renesmee still sat on the floor as Alice brushed her long curls. Her face instantly brightened when she saw me. She grabbed something shiny from the floor beside her and placed it on her head.

"Grampa Carlisle, look!" She squealed excitedly "I'm a princess!" Even I had to chuckle at her delight. Something as simple as shiny plastic gave endless possibilities to a little girl's imagination.

"You most certainly are." I smiled. "Alice could I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure." She replied. "Why don't you go pick out a movie, Ness?"

"Okay."

"Can we do this upstairs? I'd rather like to talk to Jasper too, if you don't mind."

She looked over at Renesmee for a split second before swiftly moving her gaze back.

"Right, of course." She turned to Renesmee. "We'll be right back princess."

We walked upstairs to Jasper and Alice's room and walked in. Jasper was sitting on the bed, reading. He looked up as we walked in.

"Jasper, could we talk for a minute?"

"Yeah, of course." He set his book down to give his full attention.

"I just wanted to apologize for the way I've been acting. I shouldn't have barricaded myself when you needed me."

"Carlisle we don't blame you." Jasper stated. "It's been hard on all of us. We didn't expect you to bounce back right away. You lost your children. This conversation is pointless."

I know no one had expected me to bounce back right away, but I could've done _something_.

"But…"

"But nothing." Alice interrupted. "We forgive you. Everyone is healing differently. We're going to be fine…I know we will."

As she walked out the door I stopped her.

"You're doing a great job with Renesmee. Bella would be proud. We're proud."

She smiled back at me. "Thanks Dad."

___

**Alice POV**

I had made Renesmee dinner and was now getting her ready for bed. I brushed through her curls carefully as she yawned.

"Sleepy princess?" I asked. She nodded her head, bronze hair bobbing. She had become the center of my attention for the past month. My family was all I had. I would do anything to protect what was left of it and Renesmee was now top priority.

"Time for bed, I think." I scooped her up and placed her under the warm blankets of her bed. She placed her hand on my neck and an image of Carlisle passed through her head. She was wondering where he had been lately.

"He wasn't feeling good." I said. It was all I could come up with. She sent me another image of Jasper.

"You want to say goodnight?" She nodded again.

"Jasper." I said normally. He had heard me and was soon standing in the doorway.

"She wants to say goodnight."

He sat on the edge of the bed and carefully scooped Renesmee into a hug. He placed a kiss on her forehead and she giggled.

"Goodnight."

"'Night." She replied. I walked up and also gave her a hug. Jasper was again waiting in the doorway for me. I stood up and turned out the light.

"Goodnight princess." I said quietly. What she said next would completely change my world.

"'Night mommy."

**Yay! Chapter 3 is done! Did you like the ending? I hope you all had your daily dose of Carlisle in this chapter. I would absolutely love some more reviews. If not then constructive criticism would be nice. Until next time!**

**-Silverlilly92**

**Song Used:**

**Change by Taylor Swift**


	5. Running from Hell

**Accueillez d'arrières lecteurs! Cela a été le peu de temps!**** For those of you who didn't understand that, welcome back readers! It's been a while! I was on vacation for a month and didn't have access to a computer. I couldn't wait to get back to writing so I hope this turns out well! This chapter is dedicated to my friend **AliceCullen-EmmettCullen **for being the best friend a writer could have and letting me bore her for hours, trying to come up with new chapters and mixing different ideas.**

**I own nothing except this really long author's intro.**

**___**

_What a shame we all became_

_Such fragile broken things_

_A memory remains_

_Just a tiny spark_

_I give it all my oxygen…_

___

"Where is he?" Pleading. Pleading words. The last shimmer of hope…

"He said goodbye." …shattered. It echoes 'Goodbye'. The pain edges, waiting to devour – selfish being – but does not. I am numb, cold – frozen stone – and don't feel. The world is grey, as if the colour has suddenly faded. Earth, stained by storm clouds and darkness. There is nothing left here. I choke, suddenly aware of my own isolation. I am alone. Not again, not again, not again.

"Rosalie." Jasper reaches out tentatively, unsure, questioning. I hadn't realized I had spoken out loud.

"Not what again?" His fingers graze my arm and I pull back, no contact. Not again, not again, not again. I breathe – in, out, in, out – too quickly. My world is collapsing, and I am numb. I stare blankly ahead…I cannot find a reason to do anything. There is no motivation to move, to blink, to keep this human façade. My reason for everything I ever had and would have been, was gone.

"Not what again, Rose?" That name, that name is familiar. Heard one last time - _'No Rose! Now!' _– as a sacrifice. And that was the last straw. That name, that name was not mine. Not anymore.

"NO!" I scream and crumble. A resounding 'thud' as my knees hit the ground. I shake, I dry-heave, I scream. I'm falling to pieces, trying to hold myself together – and then there is a brace.

Jasper is on his knees in front of me and encircles me in his arms, pulling me close, holding me tight. I grab on to the front of his shirt, holding on for dear life. One of his hands holds my head against his shoulder, muffling my screams an infinitesimal amount. His other hand grips tightly, fingers digging into my back. His face buried in my hair, he is in pain. My screams – _No! Not again! _– mingle with Jasper's choking and dry sobbing. We sit for hours, holding each other together.

My screaming has subsided; broken sobs are the only remains. And for once in my life I wish I could cry. Just one damn tear. I feel weak. Weaker than any human could ever be, and I just want to let it out.

I turn my head and place three kisses in the exact same spot on his shoulder –amorous – some would say. But no; there is nothing romantic about it. He is my brother, he is here for me, comforts me, breaks with me, and I am grateful. I would have done the same if it were Alice, Esme, or Carlisle. I am showing affection and gratitude, and I know that he knows. And right now, we are alone in this world – our world. We are alone with our souls shattered across the floor, trying to mend each other in the only way possible. We are imperfect and scarred.

My world is collapsing – and so am I.

___

_...To let the flames begin_

_So let the flames begin_

___

I run. I hunt. Nothing more, nothing less. I have been running for a long time. How long? I couldn't say. My days blend together, my nights overshadowing. I occasionally check what day it is…I haven't in a while. At one point I had curled up on the ground on a Wednesday night. I wasn't sure how long I had been there. _'Not too long' _I had thought. Then I had checked the day. It was Sunday morning.

This is my life now. I hunt when I must. Never more than that. I have no motivation for anything. Never had I been so completely empty. I didn't know where I was going, and I didn't care. I was running from hell; determined never to look back.

___

_So hard to see myself without you_

_I felt a piece of my heart break…_

_____

"'_Night mommy."_

If my heart could beat, it would have stopped right there. My mind was in overdrive. 'What do I do?' I thought. Should I only let her refer to me as 'Auntie Alice'? Should I accept the new title? My conscious deemed this a pleasurable thought. Something I had never dreamed of was children, knowing from the very beginning it was not possible. But after all of this, after experiencing the love of a child, I wondered. Mom. Such a common word, but it sent shocks throughout my system. I uttered under my breath, low enough for only myself to hear. Enjoying the pleasure of this title by myself, for only just a second.

"Mom."

It was so, so tempting. Being held in front of me, just out of my reach. Sadly, my common sense chose this moment to reappear. No. This was Renesmee. My best friend's daughter; Bella's little girl, her baby. Gone or not, I would not take that title from her.

"Mommy?" My head snapped up to stare blankly at Renesmee.

"Renesmee honey, I –"

"Alice." Jasper interrupted me. I hadn't realized that he was still waiting in the doorway. He gave me a meaningful stare, obviously wanting to talk. I shook my head slightly.

"Not now Jasper."

"Yes now. This is important." I contemplated just carrying on and talking to him later, but knew that he would probably just interrupt me again anyways.

"I –" He raised his eyebrows at me. _Please, for me? Are we really going to argue over this? _I huffed indignantly.

"Fine. Go to sleep Ness. I'll see you in the morning." She nodded sleepily. I shut the door quietly and turned to face Jasper. He gave me a look that obviously questioned my motives before saying-

"What were you _thinking_?" I stared blankly at him, not quite knowing what to say. I had been _thinking _that I was doing the right thing. Apparently not.

"What? What have I done wrong? She thinks I'm her mother Jasper! Her _mother_! How can I even _try _to compete with Bella? Huh? I can't take that title from her; not now, not ever. Because no matter how much I wish she was, that is NOT my little girl Jasper. She's not my baby girl." I choked back a sob. It was painful to admit. Painful to know that this beautiful little girl was not truly mine. I had never wondered about children before, just automatically accepting the fact that it was impossible. Now however, after caring for Renesmee, I couldn't imagine life without her. True, she was not biologically mine, but this was closest I had ever come to being a mother and I wanted it so badly. More than anything in the world – but I couldn't do it. It was selfish and wrong, and I refused to do that to my best friend.

Jasper gently wrapped his arms around my shaking frame. I clung to him desperately, needing the comfort that he was willing to give. His lips grazing my ear he whispered softly –

"Alice. I love you more than life itself, and you are the reason that I survive everyday – but sometimes I need you to trust me. That little girl absolutely adores you. Every minute of the day she is telling me how when she grows up that she wants to be just like you. If she _ever _heard you say that she is not your little girl, do you know how much that would hurt her? You will never be able to replace Bella, you are a completely different person, and I think Renesmee knows that. Deep down inside, she knows that you're not truly her mother, but she needs someone to look up to right now. A child's definition of 'parent' is based very loosely." He placed a kiss on my forehead.

"Talk to her tomorrow. You'll understand."

And just like that, he walked away; leaving me alone in the dark hallway.

___

I sat in my room with Carlisle. We were not talking, simply enjoying each other's company. He lay on the bed; book in one hand, the other gently stroking my hair where my head rested comfortably on his chest. These were the peaceful moments that I missed, the comfortable silence that could rival the most heartfelt conversation in the world, the effortless, gentle motions that were almost automatic and so very natural. I loved how without saying a word, he positioned himself so that my head could rest on his chest, and how his hand fit perfectly around my waist. I loved how our toes brushed against each other playfully. I loved everything about this moment and I prayed that it would never end.

"Esme?"

"Hmmm…?" I hummed contentedly.

"Do you know how much I love you?" I tilted my head upwards with a small smile, only to realize that his face was completely serious. I reached up and brushed my fingers against his cheek, watching his eyes drift closed peacefully.

"Tell me again." I muttered. He slowly opened his eyes and turned my hand over, placing a kiss on my palm.

"I love you more than words can ever express. I love you more than the moon loves the stars. More than anything on this earth and I am absolutely _thrilled _that I get to spend the rest of my existence with you." If I could've melted right then I probably would have. Yes, I really am using that cliché. I was sure right then that there was nothing I loved more than this man.

"I'm absolutely thrilled that you chose me to spend it with." He leaned down and placed a light kiss on my lips. I sighed happily and placed my head back onto his chest. One of his hands drew circles on my back and I closed my eyes. Then a thought came to mind. I questioned Carlisle, eyes still shut.

"Carlisle, have you ever thought about having children?" His hand suddenly froze.

"Why do you ask?" He composed himself, his hand resuming its circular motion. I had obviously caught him off-guard. Honestly, I wasn't sure why I had asked. It was blatantly obvious that I had always wanted a child, but I had never really asked Carlisle if he had.

"I'm just curious."

"I see. Well, when I was human I had never given much thought to a child. After becoming a Vampire, I thought it was impossible, so the thought never really crossed my mind."

I opened my eyes to stare at his face. He was thoughtful, eyes set in concentration.

"But I guess, if I really think about it, I definitely wouldn't mind having a biological child. I fact I think I'd be extremely happy. But only with you of course."

I shifted to get myself comfortable again.

"Of course." I mumbled half-heartedly. It wasn't that I didn't believe Carlisle, of course I did, but my mind was elsewhere.

"Alice is so lucky to have Renesmee. Of course not by this circumstance, it's terrible. But she's so lucky to have that little girl. She has a child. Something most of us could only wish for."

"Hmmm." Carlisle hummed appreciatively.

___

Outside their bedroom door, a choking sob was muffled by two small hands. A small form shook and trembled, desperate to retain the silence. Nothing but light footsteps. And no one noticed until it was too late, the raven-haired vampire dashing out the front door.

**Yay! Chapter four is done! This is the longest chapter yet and I'm hoping that it will make up for this really long absence of updates. I'm so sorry to everyone for taking so long after my vacation. Chapter five will be started right away. I didn't plan on Alice reacting that way but sometimes the characters just take control. Any guesses where she might be going? Please review! Even if I don't deserve it!**

**Songs used:**

**Let The Flames Begin by Paramore**

**Starts With Goodbye by Carrie Underwood**


	6. Definition

**Ta-da! Chapter 5! I tried to get this out as fast as possible****! I know, I'm pathetic and I take forever to update but high school sucks! Sorry everyone!**

**I don't own anything except the knots that I may twist this plot into.**

**___**

_In my daughter's eyes_

_I am a hero_

_I am strong and wise_

_And I know no fear_

_But the truth is plain to see_

_She was sent to rescue me_

___

How did this happen? My entire life is gone. There was a whole eternity…and then nothing.

I wrapped my arms around myself as a slight breeze rustled the forest. I wondered silently if this was how it felt to have your heart ripped out. Unbeating or not, it hurt. I hadn't had time for this. Not with taking care of Nessie and keeping constant watch for Rosalie. Throw hunting in between and I barely had a moment to myself. Jasper was my rock through it all. It was horrible knowing what he thought about himself, when in reality, he was the best thing that ever happened to me. He had kept me stable, held me tight, and loved me unconditionally ever since I had met him. God, Jasper…

I sat on the hard forest floor, legs pulled tight to my chest. The wind blew once again twisting the leaves around me as I traced small letters.

'**B. E. L. L. A.'**

My sister. All that was left of my sister. Somehow, out of these four names, I couldn't decide which one hurt more to see then the rest. My soul had taken a violent beating and I wasn't really sure if I could fix it this time. My soul… I was beginning to wonder if there was any of it left at all. How could there be?

It was all boiling up inside me, my sadness, my hurt, my _anger_. Rocking forward and landing on my knees, everything came out at once, screaming that one, unanswerable question.

"WHY?!" I stood and ripped a thick tree from the ground tossing it to the other side of the clearing with a loud bang. I dropped to my knees, once again in front of the stones. Dry sobbing and choking, I desperately clutched at my sides; trying to hold myself together, much like Bella had years before. Before _they _came – before my life was destroyed.

'_This is what was meant to happen.' _I lectured myself. If this was meant to happen then the only question was why. Was there some kind of rule that stated you could only live in happiness for so long until something heartbreaking happened to you? No, not heartbreaking, soul-shattering; because even if my heart had been beating, it couldn't possibly have hurt this much.

That was where I sat for the next three hours. Tracing and re-tracing the only part of my life that had ever come so close to claiming my sanity.

___

"What's wrong dear?" Carlisle whispered. Autumn was clearly coming and the view from our window was a swirl of browns, reds, and fading greens. Alice had been gone for hours and I was worried. As if Carlisle could read my mind he tried to soothe me.

"She's fine. She just needs some time. Believe me, I would know."

With a kiss on the forehead he left me again, to silently watch the storm of colours outside.

___

Alice was gone all night and well into the morning. Esme was so worried and I couldn't think of anything to say except 'She'll be back. I promise.' I wasn't quite sure what else to say. I knew where she was. I knew exactly where she was. I also knew that I wasn't going after her. I wouldn't let Esme or even Jasper go either. She needed her time, just as everyone else needed theirs. Time alone, to think and sort out her mind. She had been so busy lately with watching everything at once and taking care of Renesmee. I had told her that Esme and I would be glad to give our help at anytime but she replied with 'I'm fine. Really, it couldn't be going better.' and walked away. I wasn't sure how to handle it anymore.

How do you help someone who refuses they need help?

___

I shut the door quietly behind me as I shed my coat and tossed it over the nearest chair. I threw my shoes haphazardly to the side after pulling them off, heading straight into Jasper's open arms. His scent was overwhelming as he wrapped his arms around my waist. That unique smell, like roasted almonds and cinnamon, felt amazingly safe, like home.

I breathed in deeply, never wanting to let go of that smell. But, all good things come to an end. Not forever of course, but for now there was something I had to do. Jasper understood immediately.

"She's been waiting all morning." He whispered into my hair. I sighed, knowing that it had to be done, no matter how much I tried to avoid it.

"What if she won't – if she doesn't…?" My voice came out small and weak. It came out exactly how I felt. I was scared. I was terrified, of that little girl upstairs. I was so worried about her opinion of me. So worried that that small angel would decide that I wasn't worth her love, which, at this point, I doubted I was. I was so scared that I would do wrong by her. That I would never be able to live up to the image of a mother for her.

"She will." Jasper promised gently. He untangled his arms from me and gave me a slight nudge towards the stairs, nodding encouragingly.

I headed up the stairs quickly, trying to overcome the nervousness. Slipping quietly through the door, I pressed it shut slowly and turned to face Renesmee. She was sitting on the floor, back facing the door, colouring. Her hand dropped suddenly, crayon falling next to her as she spoke softly.

"I was right." A small teardrop hit the page. I took one step forward.

"Right about what princess?" She sniffed a little bit before shifting over to grab her teddy bear beside her, still not turning to look at me.

"You don't want me, do you?" Her voice was strained and broken. I was stunned. Renesmee began to shake and cry; what had I done to this little girl? I strode over and sat beside her, quickly scooping her up into my lap and wrapping my arms around her tiny frame. She wiggled and struggled before clutching on to my shirt and digging her fists into my collar. Burying my face in her hair I whispered to her.

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. I should have never left this morning. Renesmee, princess I want you more than anything in the world. There is nothing in the whole universe that I would trade for you. Not one, single thing. I love you so much honey."

"Then why did you say I'm not yours?! You said that you're not my mommy! You don't want me!" she shouted miserably. I thought about what Jasper told me. _A child's definition of 'parent' is based very loosely. _I wasn't quite sure how to approach the subject but I was running out of options.

"Ness, honey, what is mommy?" She blinked away a few tears and stared up at me, clearly confused. Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best wording.

"Okay, let's see here, what do you think a mommy is? Is a mommy someone who feeds you and gives you clothes? Is mommy a person that you look up to? I don't quite understand what you think about it princess." I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She squinted her face in thought, concentrating for a minute. She kept a fixed stare on her fingernails while she spoke.

"Mommy is someone who loves you. Mommies can't always get food and clothes but they try their best because they want their kids to grow up and be mommies and daddies too. They give you a band-aid when you fall down and they tuck you in to sleep and play hide and go seek with you. A mommy is the best thing in the world because they love you no matter what and they take care of you." I blinked in astonishment at this little girl who seemed to have the entire idea of motherhood completely figured out.

"Is that it? What if you have a different kind of mommy? You see the kids who get adopted?" She nodded her head, understanding that I meant children like her, children who had been orphaned.

"What about them? Do they still have the same mommies?"

She nodded her head again. "They still have their mommies though, because they came from their mommies tummies. But then, when they go to a new home, they get another mommy because even though it's not their _real _mommy they still love them and their new mommy takes care of them and gives them band-aids and all the things that mommies do! So it's the same!"

I smiled slightly. She was so innocent. She had the world completely figured out in her young mind; even when most of it didn't make sense. There were still parts of her logic, fragments of thought and understanding, which probably made more sense than anything an adult could come up with. The innocence of a child is what made the difference.

"I guess it's a good thing you told me what a mommy is then. I was confused for a little bit honey. I love you so much, but I didn't think I was a good mommy for you. What do you think?"

She giggled quietly. "I think you're the perfect mommy!" she stated, burying her head in my shoulder. "You even _smell _like the perfect mommy!"

Her eyes were shining with glee and I couldn't help but grin back at her.

"I do, do I? Well, you smell like the perfect little girl!" She squealed as I tickled her sides. This is what it was to be a mother. This kind of love; the kind you couldn't find anywhere else. This was my little girl.

___

And, somewhere down the hall, Jasper grinned silently to himself. Things were still far from perfect. They still could never be whole. But, they were healing. That was the most they could ever ask for; even when the scars were left behind.

**___**

**Gah! Finally done! Not the whole story of course, but this chapter at least. I now give you all permission to hurt me for not updating in FOREVER, and to top it all off coming out with a crappy chapter. I promise I'll try harder next time guys.**

**Song Used:**

**In My Daughter's Eyes – Martina McBride**


	7. Missing Angels

**Hello! To start off, chapter 6! Woot! Silence is officially the longest story I've ever written. I feel like it's my writing birthday! (Even though that doesn't really make sense.) I'm glad it's gone this far and I hope it goes on for at least a while longer. I have a sequel planned so I hope I make it until the end. That's all I will say for now except for the fact that this is the chapter where things start to heat up again.**

**I don't own anything except some of the plot ideas :)**

**___**

_You look like I did_

_You resist me just like this_

'_You can't tell me to heal'_

_And it hurts remembering_

_How it felt to shut down_

___

Hmmm…this is nice. So soft, quiet, peaceful almost. It has been long, much too long since things have been this way. Also, it's different feeling like this. Because I know where things like this are supposed to happen. Somewhere magical, wrapped in soft, warm blankets with a fluffy pillow and paintings of stars and moons of new planets above you. But that is the definition of a child. A young girl who still believes in fairytales and prince-charmings. The fantasy world where everything is twisted to another point of view; one that is not so sinister or devastating.

But, alas, I am not a little girl. By all means I am an old woman. Far past the ripe age at which I should have died. And dreams are long behind me. As is sleep. But, for some reason, this is the most realistic image I've seen in the past God-knows-how-long.

Because it is safe here, here in this world, where strawberries are still sweet and the land isn't silent beneath my feet. Where when I trip and fall and bleed and cry, it isn't with a masochistic sense of punishment. Because I look at my torn knees and I'm _bleeding_. And my tears are salty and pure because I'm _happy_. For all the time I haven't been able to fall, to taste, to bleed and see joy and colours – It's here. I'm content to stay forever here.

That's the problem. It's so warm here, so warm and soft and… not quite gentle. But I can't let myself realize it. If I truly realize this for what it is I know I won't remember it when I return to another world of cold and grey. The_ real world_.

And just like that it's gone. The scrapes heal and my skin returns to ice. The strawberries' sour taste lingers as I cling and grasp onto whatever I find left. Anything with colour, that is bright and clear; anything that isn't grey.

I tear my fingers into the soft earth; begging it to stay. To keep this warmth and light as the cold dullness of reality crawls closer. The edges of my vision are hazy and dark, waiting to devour this soft world I've created. As this universe begins to shake I think _'it's finally collapsing'_. And then I realize it is not the ground that's shaking; it's me.

Suddenly a cold harsh reality snaps back into place, like a quick slap to the face. The world is grey and colourless. And once again I am – wait, I'm not alone.

___

_But it was a trick_

_And the clock struck twelve_

_Well, make sure_

_To build your home_

_Brick by boring brick_

_Or the wolf's gonna blow it down_

___

A voice is heard somewhere in the distance, behind dulled senses and hazy buzzing. My senses are not as sharp as they were. Lack of use I guess.

There is a certain warmth. It's close. Very close. Oh, and it smells _rancid_. It's absolutely disgusting! That voice; I try to focus on it. I've heard it before. A very faint memory….a long, long time ago. I'm so tempted to turn to the voice. To roll over from my laying position just to see who entered my own, personal, hell of a world.

Now, it all comes flooding back; in perfect synchronization with a swift kick to the stomach.

I'm on the other side of the small clearing in the blink of an eye. I look dead ahead to see one of the absolute _last_ people I have ever expected to see. And old wounds tear open and it _hurts_. And I think silently that it hurts more than last time. Because the initial stab is never as bad as ripping open the scars. I drop to my knees, gasping and clutching at my chest for air that I'll never need. This person is a memory of a past life, one that I vowed I'd never have to remember again.

"I thought that would get you up. Damn, you're really screwed up aren't you?"

I just nod because I'm really in no fit state to talk.

"You're lucky you're not already dead _leech_. I should've killed you the moment I saw you. I guess you're too useless to do any harm now anyway. Not even worth my time."

They walk over quickly and with another sharp kick, knock me over. But I can't let them leave. I can't be alone again. I'll go insane. I might already be…but I can't bear it anymore.

So I choke out a pleading request, even while all I can see are feet heading towards the distance.

"Please." I sob. "Don't leave me. I'm so broken…so broken…"

The movement stops. They turn around. The answer is quiet, so quiet I barely hear it. But it is bitter, and cold.

"Join the club."

It's not much, but I'll take it. So I drag myself to my feet and follow silently behind all I have left of my life.

___

_When violet eyes get brighter_

_And heavy wings grow lighter_

_I'll taste the sky and feel alive again_

_And I'll forget the world that I knew_

_But I swear I won't forget you_

___

The dim light from the television is all that's lighting the room. I don't want anymore light than that. The curtains are drawn shut, blocking out even the light of the stars. The only sounds are missing voices from the past. I have asked to be alone. This is something that I want to do alone.

The colours dance along the walls of my room. Our room, I should say seeing as it's also Carlisle's. Suddenly the screen is blank and I quickly switch to the next tape.

The first image is my son's face. My Emmett. My beautiful boy. And he's smiling, talking about how this was their first graduation as a _whole_ family; Bella included. Oh, my sweet girl! I miss them, and it hurts. Like nothing on earth, it hurts. Worse than the transformation; much, much worse.

And Edward is there, smiling and laughing like I've never seen him before. He is so happy because he has _her_. She's the one he's been waiting forever for and they're together. He looks at her like she makes the world go 'round and she's the same with him and it's just – not – fair. It's absolutely unfair that a love like that – a _family _like that – has been torn apart. Their daughter is left behind with only pictures of parents she'll never know.

Emmett's voice comes from the screen.

"Graduation! I believe this is number…" He stops to think for a minute. "Well, I don't know. I stopped counting a while ago."

He grins that goofy grin of his and I can't help but give a small smile back. He always could lift the mood in any situation. He turns the camera continuing on with his own commentary. A picture of Rosalie flashes on screen. That same flash makes my dead heart jump and crumble. She has been gone for a while. I wish she would come back because there's nothing in this world we need more than family right now and she is a vital part of it. I don't want to move on without her.

"This is Rosalie, the lovely girlfriend…" There is a quick smack in the background. "Ouch…erm…wife of mine." Bella snorts somewhere off to the side and the camera is immediately on her and Edward. Emmett says something about 'being uncalled for' and 'lack of sibling love' before quickly throwing her over his shoulder and running past Edward. The camera is dropped and all that can be seen or heard is Alice's feet and Bella's squeals from far off.

This is where I decide to stop. I don't think I can take anymore today. It's too painful. Much too painful.

As I sit back down on the bed there is a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." I say quietly. The door creaks open and a blonde head pops in, followed by the rest of Jasper. He closes the door and sits quietly on the bed next to me. Without saying a word he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.

"I didn't think you wanted to be alone." He says softly. He knows me too well. I could tell everyone else whatever I wanted; but right now, I just needed some silent company.

"I don't." I don't know why we whisper. It's a reaction to such an atmosphere as this. He holds me tighter and I hug him back.

"I'm sorry mom. I'm so sorry." And we sit in silence until dawn.

___

There is a panic just down the hall. As soon as morning breaks over the horizon, there is a worried cry.

"Carlisle? Carlisle!"

He dashes to the living room as fast as possible to kneel in front of her.

"What? What's wrong Alice? Tell me." She shudders and grunts. She is trying to stay in focus; her eyes fade from hazy to clear repeatedly.

"Dammit!" She hisses. "It's Rosalie. Her future; it's gone."

___

**Hooray! I finished this chapter in under 24 hours! A new record! I can't believe I've made it this far. My brain is literally EXPLODING with so many ideas for this story and the sequel. Like always please R&R. Lots o' love!! (In a non creepy way ;P)**

**-Lilly**

**Songs Used:**

**Careful by Paramore**

**Brick By Boring Brick by Paramore**

**Vanilla Twilight by Owl City**


	8. What you don't know

**Hola! Chapter seven! Sorry for the lack of updates but guess what I have? That's right! EXAMS!! I know, exciting right? ;) Anyways...please enjoy. :)**

**I don't own anything that can be found in the Twilight series.**

**___**

_To the heart and mind_

_Ignorance is kind_

_And there's no comfort in the truth_

_Pain is all you'll find_

___

3 Months Later...

Growth spurt: A rapid development in physical, mental or emotional aspects.

In other words, growing. Fast.

I can't stop it, I can't control it, and, most of all, I fear it. You can't imagine what it's like to wake up and look months older than you did yesterday. Usually a change so imperceptible, you would never know it had happened. The effect was completely different when aging 5 months overnight. Not to mention, of course, my remarkable ability to absorb any information between the covers of a book. Or anything else, for that matter.

My mind is in overdrive all the time. Trying to learn every fact it missed during the growth spurt. When normal people learn, it happens in stages. There's a step one, step two and so on. Not for me. When I learn there are no steps. Everything is crammed together, and sometimes it doesn't make sense until my brain takes the time to sort it all out. I have constant headaches and there's nothing I can do about it until my mind catches up with my body. I've grown years in the time span of months. Years that could have been used to gradually learn every fact I needed. Now, I have to process everything at ten times the speed of everyone else, just to catch up.

There is writing. Everywhere. Anywhere I can reach. Pen, pencil, marker. It's on the walls, the ceiling, furniture, everywhere. Even my clothes have small phrases or markings on them.

I have to get them out. They're driving me insane. I have to.

___

"Alice." Nothing.

"Alice." Her eyes snap open.

"What? What could you possibly need _right now _that could be so _absolutely _important?" She hasn't been the same since the visions went blank. She's trying so hard. I can tell. But, for some reason, it just isn't going anywhere. It hurts to see her push herself like this. Non-stop, all the time, failure after failure.

"Stop." I gave her a stern look. There weren't many times that I really had to argue with Alice, but when I did, it was a serious matter.

She dropped her hands from her head, still sitting cross-legged on the bedroom floor. Her face crumpled and she looked like a little girl. A little girl stuck in an adult's world.

"I can't." And I'm guessing her voice broke at about the same moment her hope shattered in her eyes. "She promised! She promised, Jasper! She said she would come back, she said she would come back..."

And all I could do was scoop her into my arms and let her moan and sob, because honestly? I'm pretty sure that if I had opened my mouth, I would've been doing the same thing.

___

After a while, I could finally calm Alice down enough to let go of her. I helped her to her feet and led her to the bathroom. I kissed each of her eyelids and gently pushed her towards the door.

"Take a bath. Relax. You've been overworking yourself." I brushed her cheek with my hand. "She'll be okay. I promise."

Without opening her eyes she mumbled, "That's a hard promise to keep, Mr. Whitlock." Of course it was. I already knew that.

I pressed my lips to hers quickly. "I promise." I said sternly. "Now, go relax while I check on Nessie."

She sighed. "Fine." And the door clicked shut behind her.

___

Emotions. From everywhere. Just by walking down the hall, it felt like my mind was being attacked from every direction. Confusion, anger, hurt, loss. So many emotions – enough to drive someone insane.

But, that wasn't my biggest worry. They were coming from Nessie's room. I walked to the door and gently pushed it open.

"Ness?" It creaked quietly as it slowly swung forward. The overwhelming sent of ink wafted through the doorway, polluting the hallway. I looked around, completely at a loss for words. Writing, everywhere. Walls, windows, doors, furniture. And a small form, balancing on an ink-stained dresser, whimpering and shivering, one arm scribbling furiously on the ceiling.

"Christ." I sputtered. "Renesmee what are you doing?" She turned around and I almost fell over in shock. In a better light you could see the ink on her skin. Her arms, her legs, even her _face_. Completely covered in little letters and words, phrases and markings. The ink smudged across her cheeks, mixing with the tears and staining her skin. Her eyes red and bloodshot, she whimpered.

"Please." She whispered. "They're driving me insane! I can't get them out fast enough! So many words, all over my mind! Please, you have to help me. Daddy, help me." She began sobbing and choking and I wasn't quite sure what to do. Continuing to write on with one hand, she smeared fresh ink across the wall with the other in what I could only guess was an attempt to transfer some of her thoughts to inanimate objects.

"Okay." I said slowly. "Okay Ness, calm down. I'm going to help you I promise. Let me get you down." She looked back at me for a second, then decidedly placed the open marker in her back pocket and nodded slowly. I reached my arms out, carefully, tentatively. She cautiously reached her hands out to mine, almost as if making sure it was safe to hold on. As soon as her skin came into contact with mine, my vision exploded. I was literally thrown back by the force of emotion. Stumbling and tripping, I fell to the floor near the wall. My vision was still exploding with lights and colours and emotion.

"Holy shit." I whispered. Because even though it wasn't proper, it was the only reaction I came up with. Renesmee fell to the ground, sobbing and shaking. And all I could do was watch as my little girl fell apart, not even able to tell her it would be okay. Because at this point, I wasn't at all sure it would be.

___

_I have to go. I have to go. I have to go. I have to..._

My bag was packed. I slung it over my shoulder, finally washed clean from all traces of ink. I had to look at least semi-normal, I had to blend in. My rapid-fire thoughts and emotions came and stopped at random intervals. I had to get out of here now, while they were still manageable.

_This isn't me. What am I doing? I can't just..._

Yes. I could. I had to. I shoved away all doubt from my mind and slowly walked to the window. Slowly and silently, I lifted it open, tearing the words _never _and _again _apart from each other. I paused and listened. Mom and Gramma went grocery shopping. (For me, of course. Food that would be rotten by the time I got back.) Dad and Grampa were upstairs in the study. They wouldn't hear me. They were too busy discussing my mental breakdown.

I quickly tossed my bag out the window, into the backyard, cringing at the soft _thump _as it hit the ground. Well, at least I missed the garden. I listened intently, straining to hear anything that gave away that they had heard me. Nothing. Perfect. I turned and grabbed the crumpled pieces of paper off my dresser. The first, a worn-down, oddly bent picture of my family. All of it, from before the fight. The second was a wrinkled sheet of paper. Floppy and almost tearing, from being folded and unfolded so many times. It was a letter. One that I had read so many times, I knew almost every word.

_Dear Renesmee,_

_I know you probably don't remember me. I met you once, it seems like forever ago. You're probably a lot older now, you grow so fast. My name is Emily, Emily Uley..._

It invited me to visit, anytime I wanted. Saying I was always welcome at her house, even if some people didn't approve. She didn't say who these people were, but from how it sounded, they weren't exactly my biggest fans. I didn't know who she was, but she was important. And that's all that mattered, was that she was a useful piece in the puzzle.

I crammed the papers in my jeans pocket and, as fast as I could, I dashed to my door, slipping on my tennis shoes as I went. Pulling open the door, I gave one last look around my ink-stained room, shut off the light, and gently tugged the door closed behind me.

I walked quickly down the hall and up to the study. I had to keep urging myself not to run. _'Normal pace, act natural, you can do this.' _I thought. I heard murmuring from the other side of the door as I approached. It stopped as soon as I knocked, confirming that it was me they were talking about.

"Come in."

I peeked my head inside the door and looked over to where they were sitting, at Grampa Carlisle's desk. They both looked tired. Stressed and tired. I felt bad that it was me who had caused this, but there was nothing I could do about it now.

"Dad, can I take the bike out for a spin? It's been a while and I want to practice." He gave me a surprised look.

"I just taught you two weeks ago. Are you sure you'll be okay? After yesterday..." He trailed off and I knew what he was getting at. _'Are you sure your mind won't explode again?'_

"I feel much better. I'll be careful, I promise. It's just part of the growth spurt, right?" I gave him a week smile that I hoped would pass as something real. Thank God that he was so shocked or he might have caught on to the fact that I was lying through my teeth.

He nodded. "Yeah, I guess. Some fresh air might be good." I flashed another fake grin.

"Thanks Dad."

"Be careful Ness. We don't want you getting hurt."

I turned back for a split second, just one last look at them before I left. _'Don't cry. Don't cry. You'll blow it."_

"Don't worry Grampa, I always am."

After grabbing my bag from the backyard and strapping it on the back of the motorcycle, I pulled out onto the main road. Compass in hand, map at the ready. And as I drove away, all I could see in my mind, even over the distracting roar of the engine, was the worry on the faces of the people I thought I'd never have to hurt.

**___**

**Well, this was my first chapter with Nessie's POV so I hope you liked it. I know I'm horrible at updates but maybe you have enough love in your heart to leave a review? It would make my day.**

**Song Used:**

**Careless Whisper by Seether **


	9. Can't Hurt You

**Woohoo! Chapter eight! The plot thickens. 0_o Anyways thanks to everyone who is still with me! This has been great so far and your reviews are AMAZING! You guys make my day, every day. So, on with the story! Enjoy :)**

**I own nothing that can be found in or is related to Twilight. **

**P.S. I am at my friend Shannon's house and she just wanted to say hi to anyone reading :D**

**___**

_No matter_

_Where you've been or who you are_

_If it doesn't kill you it's sure to leave a horrible scar_

_Bones shatter_

_Baby, don't go out this time_

**___**

Slam!

"Alice, calm down. She's probably fine."

"How do you know? What if she's not?"

"Darling, they would have called."

I could hear Alice and Esme downstairs. Jasper and I had been talking for the past few hours. Deciding what we could do for Renesmee. So much planning, so much thought and discussion, and yet still nothing. So far there was absolutely nothing we could think of that could help her.

"Jasper!" Alice called. We were both downstairs in the next second. And quite frankly, in the next split second, I wished we weren't. I nearly cringed at the expression on Alice's face. Never in my life had I seen someone so furious. Jasper looked shocked. Like he was trying to comprehend what could possibly have happened to his wife.

"Where. Is. My. Daughter?" She spat. Her words were like acid. Her hands were shaking and her eyes repeatedly glazed over at lightning speed. Something was severely wrong.

"Sh-she went out on the motorcycle. Alice, she's fine. She'll be back before dark, just like always." And as suddenly as her anger had risen, it was gone. Replaced with fear and worry.

"The, the motorcycle?" She stuttered.

"Yes, why? She just wanted more practise."

She looked frozen, zombie-like. She reached her hand out.

"Give me the phone." I quickly dashed over to get it. As soon as she got her hands on it, she speed dialled a number no one could see. One...two...three...

A phone rang upstairs.

"No. No, no, no, no..." she whispered. Racing up the stairs, she didn't even pause to explain. We all followed and found her slamming open the door to Renesmee's room. Empty.

"Alice, what's -?"

"Shhh..." Listening, but for what? We all look around, trying to find just what exactly Alice is listening to.

Apparently something had caught her attention. She walks slowly to the desk, carefully, as if it will attack at any given second. (It just might, but you'd never know.) Esme touches her shoulder and attempts words of comfort. (She'll never hear them.) Alice's eyes snap wide open in shock, and she shakes. (An earthquake wouldn't make a difference.)

"Alice, it's – oh my God..." And even Esme is speechless. Alice moans and drops into her mother's arms. She trembles and shivers and cries (It burns, why does it burn...) while Esme hugs her tightly, even thought it looks as if her legs are about to give up on her.

Nothing makes sense, nothing at all. Until I see the letter, and it all falls into place. (Evil angel...evil angel...)

_I'm sorry...I promise I'll come back._

_ -Ness_

And it matches the rest of the perfect scrawl, all over the room.

___

_I'm hanging by a moment here with you_

_I'm living for the only thing I know_

_I'm running and not quite sure where to go_

_And I don't know what I'm diving into_

_Just hanging by a moment here with you..._

___

I pulled into the small driveway and cut the ignition. This was it. I finally made it. What seemed like a million miles, a few rest stops, and one broken heart later, I made it. I smiled lightly to myself. It hurt. It hurt a lot; but it was worth it. I could already tell that this place was different. Crystal clear water by the beach, beautiful flora, trees so tall I had to tilt my head back to see the tops. It was like magic; like old paintings and long lost melodies you've forgotten the words to. It was like home. It fit. It was warm and comforting, somewhere you'd expect to come home to after a vacation and say 'God, I missed this place.' - so unlike the desolate area of our house.

I walked slowly up to the door. This was it. The moment I had been wondering about for weeks. (Don't panic. Don't panic...)

There is a lot of noise coming from inside and I wonder if they're throwing a party. I lift my hand to the door – and freeze. _'What if she was lying? What if I shouldn't have come? What if they kick me out and tell me never to come back?'_ ...Stop. There's no other option. It's a chance I have to take. Breathe. In, out, in, out.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Hey! Someone get the door!"

_Thunk, thunk, crash._

"For God's sake Embry, don't kill her!"

"'S'not my fault! He pushed me!"

"Did not dumbass! You tripped!"

"Language! Now someone get the door!"

_Click._

The door swung open, and there stood a little girl, no more than eight years old. She looked shocked to see me. Then again, I'd probably be shocked to see me too. I'd never handled kids before. Hell, I was a teenager overnight. But right then, all I could do was wing it and hope for the best. So, I put on my best smile, and took a breath.

Bad idea. The air _reeked_. Like disgusting wet dog and something rotten I couldn't identify. I tried my best to maintain a friendly face. (You can handle it, it's just a smell, don't choke...)

"Hi sweetheart. Is your mom home?" I had no idea if this was Emily's daughter or not, but I hoped it was. She looked unsure, like she didn't know if she should answer or not. A slim woman appeared behind her, wiping her hands on a dish towel. Three long, viciously red, scars marked the right half of her face, reaching down to her arm, and pulling her beautiful face into a frown.

"Claire, who's..." she trailed off suddenly when she saw me. She dropped her dish towel on the nearest table.

"Oh, oh God." She stuttered. "I'm sorry, I mean, I wasn't expecting..."

I cut her off. "No, please. It's my fault. I should have called or something. I-I can go, if you want."

She looked even more shocked than before.

"Whoa! Who the hell's at the door?" An extremely tall, slim teenage boy appeared behind who I could only assume was Emily. Russet skin and dark chocolate eyes, with cropped hair, he didn't exactly look pleased.

"Vampire." He spat. The change was immediate. The whole house went dead silent. You could've heard a pin drop. It was like everyone stopped breathing. I didn't move, scared of what might happen if I did. Suddenly, Emily turned around and snapped at him.

"Brady! Living room, now!" He glared back.

"What so you can talk to the bloodsucker alone?" Another boy, almost identical but slightly shorter came to stand beside who I now knew was Brady.

"Quil, don't -"

"How do you know what I am?" I asked. As far as I was concerned, I had never met these people before in my life, never mind mention that I was half vampire.

They both raised their eyebrows in shock. Emily sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Claire was still standing by the door, but slowly backing away, as if getting ready to run.

"You never told her? Jesus Em, I knew you sent the letter but _this_? If you were gonna friggin' invite her over you coulda explained."

"Explained what?" I asked. Emily looked back at me and sighed again.

"Let's go outside. We have a lot to talk about." She turned to Claire. "You keep the boys in the house. You stay inside, too. Got it Button?"

"Got it." She whispered. I could tell she was still afraid, and most likely confused.

We stepped out onto the porch as Emily shut the door behind us.

"You picked a good day. The weather usually isn't so kind." She smiled lightly at me.

"At least I'm not like the rest of my family." I joked. "I'd be a walking disco ball."

She laughed quietly before looking me in the eyes. Something about Emily was different. I wasn't quite sure what it was, but I was comfortable around her. I had never met new people before, but with Emily it wasn't awkward at all. It was like seeing your friend again after a long time away.

"God, you've grown." She smiled. "But of course that was to be expected, right?" She stepped towards me and grabbed my shoulders looking me up and down, finally tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear and holding my face in her hands.

"So beautiful." She whispered. "Just like your mother, aren't you? You have her eyes, her curls, you even hold yourself the same way." She smiled again and I could see tears brimming in her eyes. "You're just gorgeous. Your parents would be so proud of you."

I wrapped my arms around her waist and gave her a huge hug, letting my chin rest on her shoulder.

"Thank you." I whispered, tears threatening to fall from my own eyes. She pulled away and flashed an award winning smile.

"Come on. We can't cry on your first day here. We have a lot to talk about. I wanna know everything that's been going on."

And that was it. I told her about my family, she told me about hers. About Sam and the pack and how they ate like cows. I told her about how I was raised, and by whom, what I was interested in, my favourite colour. Everything. And it was easy. We were like long lost friends. We fell into a rhythm that was never set to begin with.

And I forgot. I forgot everything. Forgot I was from a broken family, that I didn't know my parents, that I was on the brink of insanity. I forgot that home was a cold lonely place, instead of the cozy looking house, whose porch I sat on for hours.

This is what was missing. The puzzle piece that never quite fit. And the reason it never fit, was because it belonged to a completely different puzzle. A new picture, a new sound, a new beginning.

But, then again; nothing lasts forever.

**___**

**Aaaand...DONE! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, even my crappy attempt at a cliff hanger.**

**Please review, it makes my day :)**

**-Lilly**

**Songs Used:**

**Bones Shatter (Never Say Never) by Hedley**

**Hanging By A Moment by Lifehouse**


	10. Forget Me Not

**Wow. I can't even **_**describe **_**how sorry I am. I haven't had an idea for this story in FOREVER, and I really hope you guys can forgive me. In fact, I'll start the story now and end this note.**

**P.S. Just to clear this up, the reason Emily got all teary and whatnot when talking about Renesmee's resemblance to Bella, was because of their relationship. Remember, in New Moon, Bella spent a lot of her time with Emily down in La Push. I can only imagine that they formed a strong friendship during that period, therefore causing Emily to be quite upset about her death.**

**I don't own Twilight or anything related to it.**

**___**

_So here we are_

_Fighting and trying to hide the scars_

_I'll be home tonight_

_Take a breath and softly say goodbye_

_____

"Hey. Get up."

Nudge, nudge, nudge.

"Get up."

Swat!

"Screw off, Blondie. I'm tryin' to sleep."

This was nothing new. It had been this way for months, in fact. The constant bickering, the hitting, the whining and complaining - it was routine. Not today. Today was important, a huge turning point – they were going home. Well, partially.

"You sleep in every day, today you have to get up." The blanket is finally swung back to reveal tan legs, scarred and bruised from the journey. A mumble and a growl accompany the signs of life.

"Fuck you I do. I haven't slept properly since I found your sorry ass." No reply. Wait for it, just a little longer...

"I'm hungry." A puzzled expression.

"You can't –" (Realization.) "Shit."

"I know."

"And you can't hunt?"

"I...I can't smell. Or hear. Not properly." (Sad little girl, don't cry...)

"I forgot."

"What do I do?"

"Well..."

___

_Who would've known_

_That pride is so hard to swallow_

_As I rest on the shoulder of a road growing colder_

_With the trouble I own_

_Should I just keep on driving?_

___

"Breakfast!"

I cracked my eyes open to the sight of a damp, grey morning. It had rained overnight.

I snuggled deep into my covers and inhaled the smell of chocolate pancakes and pine. I was so relaxed here. Everything was brighter (despite the weather) and happier. The pack still wasn't comfortable with me. They were the only thing about this place that wasn't totally calming. Something was wrong, I could tell. They wouldn't talk to me. It was like they were angry at me; but for what? There was something in the back of my mind, something trying to escape, something I couldn't remember.

_You remember. Think harder. You wouldn't forget J-_

Knock, knock, knock.

The door creaked open and jolted me out of my thoughts. Emily popped her head around the door as I sat up and rubbed my eyes. She gave a small smile before speaking.

"I saved you a plate. You know how the boys are. If you don't eat first..."

"You don't eat." I grinned.

"Exactly. Well, it's waiting for you when you're ready." She turned to leave but swung back a second later.

"Listen. I'm sorry about them. It's just they're not used to...well..."

"Vampires." I said bluntly. I came out a little more harsh than I had intended and I quickly smiled to cover it up.

"It's no problem. Really. I understand, I guess, I would be awkward in a situation like this too."

Her smile faltered for a minute (like she knew something I didn't) before returning even brighter. As wide as it could be with her scarred face.

"Thanks for putting up with them. They'll come around eventually. As soon as they realize..." She trailed off suddenly.

"Anyways, come down when you want. I made pancakes."

"I know." I grinned.

"Of course you do." She chuckled. "I'm going shopping later, too. If you'd want to come."

"Sure." I said, almost automatically. "Sounds great."

When the door clicked shut I stretched and jumped out of bed. The floorboards creaked quietly under my feet as they hit the ground. I shuffled to the window and threw it open. Throwing my head out the window I breathed in deep, smelling all different smells. The collection of many kinds of trees blending together, the warm breakfast from downstairs, the salty breeze from the beach, the one that carried warning of a coming rain. It was beautiful. Wonderful. Perfect. It was a day for change, and I knew it. Something was going to happen, hopefully something that could tell me about...

My thoughts trailed off and I glanced to the cluttered little table to my right. A black notebook sat atop the pile of novels, magazines, newspapers and various writing tools. My thoughts. Anything my subconscious threw at me in a breakdown session, was found in that book. I found they were more organized when I planned ahead for them. If I had to panic last minute for something to write with or on, it was like my mind got angry and reacted accordingly. The book made the attacks more controllable. Lately, one word had been imprinting itself in my book more often than any other.

Black.

I didn't know why, but it had to mean something. It was reoccurring more often than anything else. More often than the colours. More often than the smells. More often than my parents blurred, pale faces. And that, that was scary.

I pulled myself back inside but left the window open, enjoying the breeze. The dresser holding what clothes Emily had given me was small and battered. Some drawers were missing handles and the once polished surface was scratched and dented. I pulled open one of the bottom drawers and rifled through the contents.

_Sweats, sweats, sweats...ah, jeans._

The clothes had belonged to one of the girls that was here before. She lived in the spare room here for awhile. Emily's cousin, I thought. Lee-something. Her fashion sense was a little different from mine. Leaning more for casual comfort, but there were a few treasures to be found in what was left.

_Thank God she was slim. _I thought idly as I slipped on the faded jeans. Emily's clothes were slightly too big and Claire's were definitely much too small.

After pulling on a worn old sweater, I walked barefoot down the stairs and into the warm, noisy kitchen. The pack was at the table, munching on toast, eggs, pancakes and anything else they could find. The room went silent as I walked in. Suddenly all the warmth was gone. Replaced with icy glares and resentment. I started quietly, just like I had every day since I had got there.

"Good morning." And they gave the same stiff, monotone reply they gave every morning.

"'Morning." And that was it. Dead silence. I knew that the only reason they even greeted me in the first place was because Emily forced them to. I slipped over to the counter where Emily was waiting, a small frown gracing her lips.

"What's wrong Emily?" I tried to force a smile. She shook her head in the boys' direction and said "I don't understand why they can't just let it go."

I must've looked confused because she stared at me for a moment, a pitying look that made me wonder what I was missing that was so clearly important.

"Let what go?"

The room was tense. The whole table froze, almost completely. Not even the clatter of forks could be heard in the silent kitchen. Emily stopped to glare at the pack once again before grabbing my shoulders. She looked straight into my eyes, an attempt to be reassuring.

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is that _nothing_" -she glared pointedly as she emphasized this point to the table- "is your fault."

_Smash!_

I whirled to face the sound and saw Embry standing next to a shattered glass, his hand slowly healing.

"Not her fault? Not her fault? It's ALL her fault! Her and her damn family!" He roared.

"Embry." Sam said warningly, but he carried on anyways.

"How can you _not _blame them? Even Seth is fucking depressed and no one thought that was possible until now! You think he'd be gone if it weren't for them? You think _she'd _be gone if it weren't for them?"

Seth stood up so fast he almost knocked the table over. He was trembling and shivering all over. His hand shook as he pointed at Embry accusingly. When he spoke it was no more than a growl.

"Don't you _ever _talk about her."

Embry glared.

"What? I don't have the right to anymore?" He spat. "Well fuck you Seth. I'll talk about whoever the hell I want to." And with that he stomped out the front door.

There was a shocked silence until we all heard a far away howl. Seth sat down rigid and tense, just as Quil stood up. He muttered something about going to find Embry before he did something stupid. I didn't understand what had just happened but for some reason I felt the need to say something. Apparently it was obvious because as the door slammed shut again Seth spoke up.

"Don't bother. He's been like this ever since..." his voice trailed off sadly. It was obvious that it wasn't the time for me to ask questions. Emily turned to me abruptly as the rest of the table began to pick at their food again with sombre expressions.

"I think we'll leave a little early. You woke up late anyways. I have to drop a few things off and we can pick up some food for you on the way."

"No problem." I muttered quietly. I moved towards the door as Emily began pulling trays out of the fridge. As I slipped on my shoes I heard her kiss Sam and whisper to him.

"I'm dropping off cabbage rolls at Billy's place. God knows how often Sue is there but I figured there's no reason I can't help. We're going shopping after because Renesmee needs clothes and Leah's (someone coughed violently at the table) are barely cutting it."

Sam sighed. It wasn't annoyed or frustrated, it was considerate, loving.

"How in the world did I end up with someone as perfect as you?"

I could practically _hear _the smile in Emily's voice.

"Fate."

I finished lacing up my shoes just as Emily began pulling on hers. Her relationship with Sam was incredible. Like when they looked at each other it was as if no one else even existed. It was so intense, so bright and blindingly beautiful. We walked out the door and climbed into Emily's tiny car. As we pulled out of the driveway I was still thinking about their relationship. How different they were to everyone else...

"Your mother once told me she felt like she was intruding on something." I glanced sideways.

"What?"

"When she looked at us, me and Sam, she told me she felt like it was too personal to watch. Like she was intruding."

I quietly wondered if Emily could read minds.

"She was right."

Emily smiled slightly.

"I don't understand." I started slowly. "What's so different between you two? Not that it's a bad thing. Of course not. It's just..." I thought for a minute about how to phrase what I was trying to say. "I've never seen true love like that. So...open, I guess is the right word. My parents, and my grandparents too, they have true love. It's true, but it's private. They have those silent conversations, things they keep to themselves, they don't _show _their love. At least, not as openly as you do."

Emily was very quiet for a minute, giving a thoughtful smile.

"Not everyone knows how to show love in the same way. Different circumstances, different personalities, different behaviour. Your adoptive mom, Alice, she doesn't know every detail of her past, right?"

I nodded in agreement.

"Well, have you ever thought that maybe, she isn't secure enough to show her inner thoughts and feelings to anyone other than her husband? Or if she even knows _how _to open up to other people?"

"But they're her family." I protested. "_I'm _her family."

"Even so, trusting a part of your mind and heart to someone isn't easy. It doesn't matter if you've known them for three days or a hundred years. Not everyone has such an easy time."

I pondered that quietly as we drove, on and on as the rain started pounding on the roof.

___

_The same tricks that, that once fooled me_

_They won't get you anywhere_

_I'm not the same kid from your memory_

_Well now I can fend for my self_

___

Fuck this.

I had vomited three times and almost passed out. This was complete and total bull-

"I'm sorry."

"I swear to-" Retch, gag, vomit. "-God, if you say that again I'll kill you."

I swipe my already filthy arm across my mouth.

"Sor-"

"Don't. You. Dare." I pick up the pace. Why are there so many trees around here anyways? "We're almost there anyways. By the way, this is your fault so if you complain about smelling it, it's your problem, not mine."

"I know."

More two syllable answers. Fantastic.

"Listen, I'm stopping in for ten minutes, tops. I need clothes, a quick shower and food." I think for a second. "Make it twenty. And go hunt a rabbit or something while I'm in there. This isn't a new habit, just to clear that up."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Unpredictable show of emotion. Well, those are getting more frequent.

"Good."

"Good."

Oh for the love of...

___

Emily and I got back from shopping late. I had a few new outfits to keep me going while I was there, and a full stomach. Although I would need to hunt soon...

We had called the pack earlier and apparently things were much more calm than they had been earlier. Only a few members were still at the house, one of them being Seth. He had had a rough day and was spending the night to save Sue the trouble of dealing with him.

So when we heard a knock at the door at around seven, we were all slightly suspicious. Who would be knocking at this time? Then again, who knocked at Emily and Sam's place ever? Anyone who knew them just walked in. I had learned from experience.

Either way, I never understood why Emily cried when she opened the door. Maybe she was important. Or maybe she was part of a bad memory. No matter what the case, everyone but me was completely shocked by this tan, lean girl in the doorway with a fading silver crescent on her wrist.

**I'm not even going to try to explain what happened to this chapter. I'm just not.**

**-Lilly**

**Songs Used:**

**Here We Are by Breaking Benjamin**

**Tennessee Line by Daughtry**

**Ignorance by Paramore**


	11. Fight and Flight

**This story is killing me, it really is. My plot ideas just hate me and like to run around wherever they please, instead of staying in my mind like they're supposed to. *Sigh* But anyways, here is the next chapter and thanks to everyone who still waits for these updates.**

**I don't own Twilight or anything related to it. (Sometimes I'm not even sure if I own THIS story.)**

_I can't stand another fight__  
__And nothing's alright__  
__'Cause we lost it all__  
__Nothing lasts forever__  
__I'm sorry__  
__I can't be perfect_

"I have to go."

"No, you don't." Jasper stopped packing to stare at his adoptive father across the room.

"It's been three days Carlisle! I can't just let her stay out there by herself. Alice can't even see her future. Do you have any _idea _how frustrating that is? She's my baby girl; I can't just forget about her."

The argument had been going on all day. Jasper wanted to leave in search of Renesmee, possibly find Rosalie on the way (though he severely doubted he would) if he was extremely lucky. Carlisle refused to let him go. He had already held Jasper back for three days, but now he wasn't so sure he could fight him anymore. After all, it was his only granddaughter.

"I know exactly how frustrating it is. If you'll remember, I'm missing quite a few children at the moment, most of whom I will never get back." Something in his eyes flashed painfully at the thought of the missing family members. It still hurt; it probably always would. He tried again.

"Jasper, I'm sure she can defend herself if nothing else. She's a clever girl. Not to mention the help of her vampire abilities."

"Carlisle, something has to be wrong. If she just wanted to explore, we would have given her the chance. But she didn't ask, she just _left_. She didn't even say goodbye. She tricked us."

Carlisle gave him a sturdy look.

"If I recall properly, and I know I do, you and Alice also left without explanation at one point."

Jasper was taken aback. Never did he expect Carlisle to use that against him. That was a low blow. After a minute of stunned silence he finally found his words.

"We had a _plan_. There was a reason we left and more reasons for leaving the way we did. Never once did we ever think of leaving _just because_." He glared furiously at Carlisle, his emotions spilling into the atmosphere, leaving anger and tension in its path.

"And how do you know that she _doesn't_ have a plan? What if this is all a part of her scheme? She could have an entire world of reasons and planning. We would never know."

Carlisle put up a good fight, but Jasper was in no mood for arguments. His daughter was out there alone and he'd be damned if he wasted any more time than he had to. He snapped around fiercely.

"She. Is. My. _Daughter_." He spat each word as its own sentence, each syllable burning like venom. And, for the first time in two hundred years, Carlisle lost control of his temper. For the first time he shouted out of anger.

"And you are my son!"

Jasper began to shout back.

"So you should accept my decisions!"

"You should listen to my warnings!"

"I don't need them! Why do you even care?"

"Because I will not lose another CHILD!" They were both shouting at the top of their lungs by that point. Carlisle's last statement had pulled the room into a dark silence, leaving only the remains of broken anger. Those words had also prompted Jasper to respond in a way he later regretted. Still in the heat of the argument, anger boiling over like hot water, his whisper was deadly venom.

"You can't lose what you never had."

He saw the shock on Carlisle's face before the door slammed shut behind him.

"You shouldn't have said that."

"He shouldn't have said his part, either."

"He's hurt."

Jasper's head whipped around to stare at her. She was exhausted, dark circles marking proof under her ever-changing eyes. He couldn't imagine he looked much better. She stared quietly at the ground, barefoot and pulling at the hem of a baggy sweatshirt that had clearly belonged to Emmett at some point or another.

"So am I."

She sighed as he continued packing a small travel bag. She smoothly wrapped her small arms around him and pressed her face into his back, breathing in deeply.

"Alice, I don't have time for this."

She sighed again.

"I know."

She untangled her arms from around him and took a few steps back. Her eyes were filled with a sadness, a longing. She didn't want him to go. At least not without her. But, he had convinced her to let him go alone. It was by far against her better judgement, but he could be just as stubborn as her and she definitely was in no mind to argue. In fact, she worried about him. It wasn't that she didn't want her daughter home - of course she did, that was out of the question – but Renesmee was more than capable of taking care of herself. Alice had learned it the hard way, but trusted her daughter in the fact that if it were _this important_, well, who was she to argue over the panic she had left at home? After all, Carlisle was right. Alice _had _done the same thing.

Jasper had begun to walk towards the door, his goodbye prepared at his lips.

"I don't want to lose you." She mumbled quietly, as the door swung open. His mouth was set to a firm line.

"Why does everyone assume I'm leaving?"

The door slammed shut. Alice curled up with his pillow and cried.

**So, I'm reaaally sorry for the short chapter, but I really wanted to get **_**something**_** out to you guys before I leave next week. So I hope you guys can hold tight until I get the chance to write more, and again, I'm sorry.**

**I love the reviews!**

**Song Used:**

**Perfect by Simple Plan**

**-Lilly**


	12. Collision Part 1

**So, I'm looking at this story and thinking to myself, where is this going? If you've noticed, there are now sort of three different strands going on all at once. The Cullens, Rosalie and Renesmee are all on their own type of...mini-adventure almost. And I realize now that for every different person, they find a different thread more interesting. So now I'm trying to find a way to blend all these threads together and it's coming along nicely, I think. Anyways, I guess the point of this was, this story is very slowly coming to a close. I'd like to know some thoughts on this?**

**Well, I'll stop talking now. Enjoy!**

**I don't own Twilight or anything related to it.**

_To bring us back to where we were_

_When life was not this hard_

_Looking back it all just seems so far_

_So far away..._

Dead silence. The entire house, usually full of sound, laughter and life, silent.

Just like Emily's tears. And her next words were spoken almost the same way, nearly mouthed, shakily whispered.

"You're back."

The girl swept her arm down in front of her, as if showing herself on display.

"In the flesh." She said with a wink. Suddenly she peered around Emily, who was still absolutely frozen with shock. She pushed her aside with no more than a second glance. Her eyes focused on me. Her stare was intense. It gave me an odd impression that she could see right through me - right into, and past, my soul. And then her gaze turned slightly hostile and I nearly flinched at her glare.

"What are you, a new imprint? And what the hell are you doing in my clothes?"

_Her clothes? What is she... _Her clothes. They were her clothes. In that instant I finally realized just exactly who I was talking to. My eyes widened in shock and my mouth popped open and I probably resembled a fish that had been clubbed over the head. But before I could respond, she turned back to Emily who was still staring in disbelief, but now had Sam's arms wrapped around her. He knew she needed the support. It looked as if her knees were about to give out beneath her.

"What happened cousin?" she asked mockingly, raising an eyebrow. "I leave for a while and you're giving my clothes to charity? Hmmm..."

She looked back at me again, scrutinizing. Then for a second she was confused. She turned to count how many people there were standing in the doorway before her eyes flashed back to mine. She pointed her finger at me and our small crowd parted down the middle leaving a straight path between us.

"You smell like..." she trailed off, knowing what she wanted to say but afraid to say it in case she was wrong.

"Vampire?" I supplied quietly. Her eyes widened slightly and the whole room became tense.

"What the fuck are you?" She asked harshly, finally dropping her arm. I glanced quickly over to Emily, afraid to answer. I'd been raised to never tell anyone what I was. It was against the rules completely, to tell a stranger, especially one that was clearly not friendly. There was only one rule in vampire society; keep the secret. Emily nodded slowly, signalling that it was safe to tell her. My eyes shifted slowly back to the girl in front of me.

"I...I..."

I never got to finish that sentence. At that moment, Seth, who was one of the few still left at the house, stepped in front of me. Her attention switched to him and suddenly she straightened herself and grinned.

"Hey little brother." She said in a sugary sweet voice, nothing like what she had been using a second ago. Suddenly her face changed into a half scowl-half frown.

"That's not your new girlfriend is it? 'Cause if it is then you could do a lot better than someone who smells like-"

She also never finished her sentence. Seth had tackled her, launching both of them through the still open front door and off the porch, growling the entire way. Everyone else crowded outside to see what was going on, but as I went to step out the door, Emily grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"We're going to need to talk to her after. Alone. You should hunt while we calm her down."

I nodded silently and we both made our way outside.

Seth had straddled his sister and, from what it appeared, was trying to strangle her.

"You promised!" he shouted. "You promised! You said you wouldn't hurt me! Hurt _us_! You told me it would be okay! You promised!"

Tears were streaming down his face while they fought. After a few jabs here and there, she was clearly fed up. With a sharp _snap _she threw a hard punch straight to Seth's face, clearly breaking his nose, before sweeping an arm and a leg over and around Seth's and flipping him. With one hand she held him down and with the other, she reached up to his slightly bleeding nose and snapped it straight. Seth gave a shout of pain before bringing one hand to his face and sobbing.

"What did she just do?" I whispered. Jared turned to face me for a brief second.

"She broke his nose and straightened it out before it set wrong."

My eyes widened.

"Doesn't that hurt?"

He shrugged as if it were no big deal. Then again, for them it probably wasn't.

"Not as bad as re-breaking it."

I turned back to the fight just in time to see her getting up and wiping blood off her lip, already healed. She looked down at her sobbing brother and grimaced.

"I lied." She spat before turning and walking back to the house where we all stood. She glared at me and raised her hand to point at me again.

"I still don't know who or what the fuck you are or why you're in my clothes..." But I wasn't listening. Something had caught my eye. Something everyone else had either ignored or hadn't noticed yet. In the time span it would take to blink I had grabbed her wrist in my hand and flipped it over. Of course, she shouted at me.

"What the hell?" But I had still seen it.

"You've been bitten." Her eyes widened as there was a collective gasp from the group. She slapped her hand over the silver crescent on her wrist, trying to hide it from everyone.

"That's none of your business." She hissed quietly. Emily stepped forward and quite roughly pulled the bitten arm forward, inspecting.

"It may not be hers, but it sure as hell is mine."

They glared at each other for a moment before she slapped her cousin's hand away and covered the scar again.

"Good to know you care, Em. Maybe you should've thought about that a few months ago."

"How are you alive?" asked Sam. The first words I'd heard him speak since the start of all this.

"Please." She snorted. "It takes more than one bite to kill me."

"Now, back to the question I've been trying to get answered since I _got here_," she turned again to me, "who are_ you_? You have a heartbeat and you smell like a leech. What gives?"

I took a deep breath. Still not completely used to the stench, I wrinkled my nose just a tad. No one noticed. I looked up to meet her eyes and spoke quietly.

"Well, I'm...I'm both."

Her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm both. Half human, half vampire. I was born this way, it's not a development."

Her eyes widened in shock, mouth opening and closing as if she were choking, like the words were stuck in her throat. Her eyes were wild, looking around the circle of people as if expecting them to tell her I was lying, or at least to see one of them as shocked as she was.

"Oh my God." She sputtered. "You're her."

Apparently she had regained her senses and her voice raised substantially until she was shouting.

"You're _her_!" She whirled to Sam and Emily, fire blazing in her dark eyes. "You let this bitch into your house? Are you fucking insane? She's a fucking _Cullen _for God's sake!"

Sam spoke up suddenly and his voice was harsh.

"Leah, that's enough." Yes, that was her name. Leah; Leah Clearwater. "She hasn't done anything to us. She's no enemy."

I blinked stupidly, not sure I had heard properly.

Sam looked at me and nodded slowly, proving that I had in fact heard correctly. Sam Uley had defended me. He had defended me against Leah Clearwater – against a pack member.

Leah stuttered and swung her head back and forth between us, unbelieving. Shocked. Horrified. She focused on me again and spoke in a deadly whisper.

"I should kill you."

"I'll kill you!" she shouted, attempting to lunge at me. I flinched back, but before she could reach me, two sets of hands wrapped around her, pulling her back. Sam and Jared dragged her out the front door. Quil, who had been comforting Seth, and Seth himself were still sitting on the ground, watching. No doubt they had heard everything.

Their shouts faded into the background slowly and Emily pinched her eyes shut against Leah's screams.

"Stop it! Let. Me. GO!"

Her face was so pained, so tense. She placed both hands over her nose and mouth, still keeping her eyes pinched shut while the tears began to leak out the corners. I walked over slowly, cautiously reaching my hand out to her. I knew from experience that not everyone wanted to be comforted, some just wanted a moment to themselves. But she didn't pull away. She began to shake and her knees looked as if they were about to give out under her, so I slowly wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, pressing the side of my face against her head. As soon as my arms were around her she began sobbing, muffled by her hands and my shoulder. I slowly felt her tears soak through my shirt and resigned myself to knowing there was nothing else I could do.

In the darkness, her eyes flashed clear to hazy, clear to hazy. She had been like this since he left; always watching. She was in pain, her head ached as if someone had slashed it open. Yet still nothing. Blank, fuzzy, blurry. Nothing so far had worked, no matter how hard she tried.

And then it happened. She watched frantically, grasping onto every second she could get, not letting a single detail slip. And she shot up at the speed of light, with a gasp she shouted.

"Renesmee!"

**Woo! Almost an entire chapter in one day! I'm on a roll and I'll be starting the next chapter right away, as in...now. So anyways, I hope you guys liked it!**

**Reviews make the world go around! (Well, this one anyways.)**

**-Lilly**

**Song Used:**

**Miles Apart by Yellowcard**


	13. Collision Part 2

**Hello! Back again! I am astounded that this story has gone so far and I want to thank all you guys who reviewed because **_**Silence**_** never would have gotten to even the second chapter without you.**

**Also, I was thinking. After this story is done I was thinking about taking requests for 'behind-the-scenes' chapters that people want to see. I'm not sure just yet, but I want to let you guys know what's going on in my head.**

**Anyways, read on!**

**I don't own anything that can be found in, or is related to Twilight.**

_I know you_

_Who are you now?_

_Look into my eyes if you can't remember_

_Do you remember?_

It took a few minutes for Emily to completely calm down. Her sobs quieted and she wrapped her arms around me. For a minute we just hugged each other, both needing the support.

"Thank you." She whispered. "And I'm sorry. For everything she said. It was uncalled for."

I pulled back to look at her and smiled. She had nothing to apologize for. It wasn't her fault. In fact, it probably wasn't Leah's fault either. Something had happened, that was obvious, and she was angry.

"Don't apologize, Em. It's not your fault, not even close. If anything it's mine. I should've known that not everyone is as accepting as you."

"God, stop being such a martyr." She laughed. She turned to face the open door and sighed.

"She'll be okay." I said quietly. "I know she will. Just give her time."

"Of course she will." She muttered sadly. "Of course."

She turned to me after checking the sky.

"Can you hunt in the dark?"

I nodded. Being half vampire had its advantages. I may never be able to own a cat, but I can see in the dark. Sounds like a fair trade.

"You should go now." She said. "They'll be back soon and we don't want a repeat. You need it anyway, I can tell."

She motioned with her finger a small circle under her eye. I unconsciously reached up to touch my own and she grinned.

"They're dark. Go now before they get here." She nodded again towards the door.

"Alright." I agreed. "I won't be long. In fact I'll probably be back before sunrise."

"It's fine. Be home whenever you want. Take your time."

"See you later, Em." I hugged her again. "Wish me luck." I said with a wink. She laughed as the door shut behind me. I made my way slowly to the forest, taking my time like Emily had suggested. It was a damp night, the air was thick and moist. The forest was misty, the fog stretching like elongated fingers, grasping at the slowly fading light. Perfect hunting conditions. Harder for the prey to see, still just as easy for me to see them. I took a deep breath when I reached the edge of the forest.

Deer. Two. Far left. My eyes snapped open. I ran.

Hunting was such a different experience. Surreal almost. The power, the speed, the rush. Everything blurring together, the unique smell and feel of everything around you as it rushes by. It's not something that can be described, not accurately. It's something you have to feel. Like a dance. Yes, that's what it was, a dance. Predator, prey and surroundings all dancing around each other, waiting for that perfect moment, the one moment when everything comes together. Like a finale. Move after move, accuracy ruling everything...and then one move to end it all.

And the power! It was fantastic. Knowing that you rule, _you _are the top of the food chain, nothing above you. It could almost drive someone crazy. But, that's what we become really, isn't it? Crazy? Crazy for the rush, the blood, the thrill of the kill. The one time vampires are truly vampires. When we hunt, letting the bloodlust take over. Nothing else matters, and for your own sake, don't cross the path of a hunting vampire. Immortal or human, it makes no difference. Chances are you won't walk away intact – maybe you won't walk away at all.

I could feel them, their heartbeats coming closer, their scents becoming stronger. I dropped to my knees and pressed my hands to the ground, burying my palms in the damp earth. I could feel the vibrations of their running. They were fast. I grinned.

I loved playing games.

I took off at a sprint, diving straight at a low-hanging branch. I grabbed on and swung myself around onto the branch. I kept my breathing even, quiet. In, out, in, out...

_Crack._

There. I snapped my head to the side, diving at the next tree over. _Dive straight, mid-air flip, kick off. Dive, flip, kick, dive, flip, kick. _Kicking off multiple tree trunks, I traveled quietly and quickly through the thick flora. The mist was a good cover, not that I would have needed it.

I lunged from the top of a tall tree, rolled as I hit the ground and landed in a crouch, hair swaying over my chest, still untangled by the movement. It never necessarily got in the way, but I didn't exactly like having my hair down either. It was just habit to put it up, so I grabbed an elastic from my pocket and quickly tied it up in a high ponytail. Much better.

I breathed in deeply again, they were extremely close. Time for the kill. I was silent, prowling around the edge of the small clearing they were in. Closer, closer...

_Snap._

A twig cracked somewhere on the other side of the clearing. One of the deer looked around, alarmed, before sprinting off into the darkness. I cursed silently in my mind, vowing that whatever had snapped the twig was next in line. I jumped over to the nearest tree, landing quietly in the soft dirt.

I looked around in the darkness; something was off. For some reason I felt as if I were being watched. I looked around but saw no movement. All I could smell was the deer, the sweet blood...

That was all it took to send me racing up the tree, leaping from branch to branch with ease. The ultimate predator. I could see the deer from above. I planned how to attack in my mind. Launch off the tree, hands back, sweep the legs, break the neck. Simple. I was ready. I took one last steadying breath...and jumped.

The wind whipped through my hair for less than a split second before...

_Smack!_

The wind was knocked out of me as I was thrown sideways, the resounding noise chasing away the last deer. Whatever had just hit me, it was going down.

I was thrown into a tree, smacking the back of my head off of the rough bark. The world spun slightly as I stood, trying to regain my balance. I looked over to my attacker, posed in a low crouch. A person? What? Clearly not human. Not wolf... none of them would have attacked me. Well, except one, but she was back at the house, under the watch of many other wolves. That only left one option. In which case, I was trapped. I may be strong, but I'm no match for a real vampire.

_And how can I pretend I never knew you_

_Like it was all a dream..._

It was female, I could tell, just from the body shape and movements. She was bathed in shadows, just _slightly _too dark for me to make out any features. Not to mention my still slightly blurred vision. I slowly reached up to tighten my hair elastic, then crouched as low as possible to the ground, preparing to fight. I knew I wouldn't win, but I sure as hell wasn't going down without a fight.

I leaned back slowly, balancing on the balls of my feet. Then I threw my entire body weight forward, lunging at the enemy. It was an amateur move, and I knew it, but I had never been taught to fight. The easy kill was all I knew.

She had seen it coming. I knew she would. She grabbed my shoulders, slamming me down into the ground. Her nails sliced across my right shoulder blade and I could feel the flesh being torn apart. I grunted in pain, but rolled over in time to miss the punch she threw at the ground where my head had been just a split-second before.

My shoulder stung where the dirt rubbed into it, but I pulled myself off the ground to face her. When she spoke, the first thing I could think of was wind chimes. But yet, it was slightly different. Her voice was flowing, like a melody, but harsh. The voice of someone who had been through far too much. Someone like me.

"You're weak." She spat before snapping my arm back to spin me around. I heard a small _pop_ in my wrist and screamed. It came out choked. Her arms had locked around me, one around my stomach, holding me to her. The other around my throat, cutting off my air supply. I squirmed in her grip, trying to get free. It was no use.

"Who are you?" She demanded. I couldn't answer. I scratched and clawed at the arm around my throat, gasping and choking for air. My vision began to go dark around the edges, shapes blurring. My struggling became weaker, almost feeble.

"I said..." She paused before I heard her inhale. "Hold on. Are you... are you bleeding?"

I gasped, weakly smacking at her arm. My vision was clouded and blurry, slowly getting darker. Slowly, slowly...

Suddenly, she released me and shoved me toward the ground. I stumbled and fell to my knees before falling face down into the dirt, gasping and coughing, trying to inhale enough air into my starving lungs.

"You _are_ bleeding." She whispered, stunned. "But how? I mean, you fought. You're, you're..."

"Human." I gasped. "Human."

"How? You can't be...you can't..." she trailed off, at a complete loss for words.

"Half." I coughed, slowly gaining my breath back. "Only half."

"Half?" She uttered. I wasn't quite sure if it was a question. That terrified whisper had made something click for her. She walked forward slowly, almost scared. I now had most of my breath, but not the strength to get up. So I lay there, breathing in air and dirt, watching her feet pad closer and closer. When she got to me she kneeled next to my body and gently rolled me over.

She immediately fell back and shoved herself away from me with a terrified half-scream. She was scared of me. _'Why?'_ I thought. _'She shouldn't be scared of me. I should be scared of her.' _But I wasn't. And the only reason I could think of to explain why that was, was because I knew her. Just as she clearly knew me. Not by name, certainly not by memory, but by photograph. I knew her.

"It's _you_!" She screeched. "What the fuck are you doing here? _What_?"

She covered her mouth and pulled her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth and sobbing. Loud, moaning sobs that shook me to the core.

I knew this woman from a photograph. An old worn family portrait. A portrait that contained myself as a newborn, my red-eyed mother holding me in her arms, my bronze-haired father with his arms around us both.

And this woman. Standing in the background with her tall, curly-haired husband. Yes, I knew this woman. This broken woman who was once beautiful and glowing and happy.

This was Rosalie Hale.

The last thing I heard was her sobbing before the blackness finally took me under.

**What? What's this? ANOTHER finished chapter! I did write this in only a few hours so I hope you guys like it. Personally it's one of my favourites. You could always let me know somehow... hmmm...I don't know...*cough*review*cough***

**Just kidding! But still, they're always appreciated!**

**-Lilly**

**Song Used:**

**Never Be The Same by Red**


	14. Collision Finale

**Another Chapter! I've been on a writing rampage lately. This story is on the top of my list right now because I've been neglecting it so much. Also, I really suggest listening to the song in this chapter. It's a beautiful song and was very inspiring for this chapter.**

**Anyways, enjoy!**

**I don't own Twilight or anything related to it.**

When my phone rang I wasn't sure If I should answer it or not. The last thing I needed to get into was another fight. I snatched it from the next seat to see the caller ID and sighed.

Alice.

I couldn't ignore her. She had only been trying to help. I flipped the phone open and before I could even get it to my ear, she was off, speaking so fast it was a buzz.

"Jasper! Thank God! I saw it, I saw it! You have to go, I'm on my way, don't stop!"

"Alice!" I cut her off. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Renesmee! Jasper I saw her!"

My stomach clenched violently and my head buzzed. Renesmee, she was there. I could find her and everything might be alright again.

"...can't find her!" she paused. "Jasper, are you listening?" her voice was rushed and slightly angry.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"Emily Uley called. She said Renesmee has been with her since she left us."

"Why didn't she say anything sooner?" I growled, swerving the car around a corner.

"She didn't know. Neither did the wolves." She tried to calm me. It didn't work.

"Wolves?" I shouted. "She's been living with _wolves_?"

"Jasper, they haven't hurt her. Don't go after them. But you do have to go to Forks."

"Why?"

Alice took a deep breath.

"Jasper, I need you to stay calm. Please, please promise me you won't do anything drastic."

"What happened Alice?" I growled, my anger rising.

"She's in a forest...Esme and I are packing already and we'll all be in the car in five minutes, on our way."

She was nervous, I could tell, and I didn't like it. Not at all. Something was wrong and I wanted to know.

"Alice. What _happened_?" I heard a small muffled sob in the background, so quiet I barely heard.

"She – she... she's h-hurt."

I slammed on the breaks. Cars honked and sped around me.

"Jasper? Jasper! Are you there?" Alice's voice was panicked, worried. My insides felt like chunks of ice. The cold slowly spreading through my body, slicing and freezing its way to my heart.

"I'm here." I whispered. I was numb. She was hurt, she was hurt, she was hurt. What had done it? Whatever it was, it was going to die.

"I know what you're feeling, believe me I know. But you have to go! Please just get there!"

I gripped the wheel tightly, determined.

"I'm on the way." I growled before slamming the phone shut and tossing back onto the other seat where it had been before.

I slammed on the gas and took off at twice the speed limit.

'''''''

"Esme! Carlisle!" I shouted. It wasn't necessary, but I was in too much of a panic to notice. They both rushed to the door behind me while I threw things out of my closet without checking to see what was what.

"Alice what's going on?" Carlisle asked. I could tell he was worried, they both were. I whirled to face them, never stopping my packing.

"Start packing. Carlisle, start the car and get a medical kit ready. Esme, pack everything you two will need for the next few days."

They stared at me in shock but nodded slowly. Given, I was still a mess. I hadn't brushed my hair in days, I was still wearing worn old shorts and Emmett's giant sweatshirt and now I was running back and forth throwing things all over the place.

I tossed a few more pieces of clothing in my suitcase before slamming it shut and zipping it closed. I grabbed my phone and suitcase and sprinted through the now empty doorway. I was thankful to Carlisle and Esme for listening to me. I had no time to waste. We needed to leave, _now_. But first I had to call Jasper. He had a better chance of getting there first and we needed all the chances we could get.

Five minutes later, I had talked to Jasper and he was on his way racing toward Forks while I stood sobbing. Esme came from behind and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close and kissing my head.

"I heard what happened." She said quietly. I could only nod, my words failing me. "We'll find her. Don't worry."

Her voice was strong and determined, begging for me to believe it. So I did. Esme knew it. I don't know how, but she knew. We would find Renesmee and everything would be okay. It had to be.

Carlisle came racing down the stairs, medical kit in hand, tossing us each a pair of shoes. I looked down at my bare feet and realized I would have forgotten them If he hadn't grabbed them for me. A gave a weak smile in his direction and he nodded back.

Quickly pulling my shoes on, I dashed to the car, jumping into the driver's seat with Esme beside me and Carlisle in the back. Slamming my foot flat to the floor, we sped out of the garage, finally knowing where to go for the first time in months.

'''''''

'_You knew this was a bad idea!' _whispered the little voice in my head. _'You shouldn't have come back. Now look what you've done!'_

"I didn't mean to!" I sobbed. "It was an accident. I didn't know!"

'_They'll come for you.' _It said menacingly.

"No! No! Please no!" I shouted. "Don't let them come for me! I didn't know! Please! Don't let them get me!"

I slapped my hands over my ears, trying to drown the little voice as if it were coming from somewhere other than in my head. It didn't work. It never worked. I hated this voice, the one that told me horrible things, whispered nightmares to me when it knew I couldn't handle them.

"Leave me alone!" I told it. "Leave me alone!"

I hadn't wanted this. The voice was right, I shouldn't have come here. Nothing good could have happened. _Nothing_ could have happened except pain and suffering from old memories. And that was exactly what I had just experienced. Memories flashing back, one at a time, slicing my un-beating heart like a knife. I had screamed when I saw her face, remembering it as it used to be. That little girl I once held with the sweet round face and copper curls. The tiny, cherry-coloured lips and pearly white teeth. The big round eyes, full of curiosity, desire to explore. That was not what she was anymore.

She had grown. Her face was sharper, more defined, long curls pulled up, only highlighting the changes in her features. Her lips were still stained a bright cherry, but they were fuller, no longer childlike. Her eyes were dark, holding something almost like a suffering behind them – something no one her age should have to know. She was tall and slim, just grown into her body. She was a woman.

It scared me, seeing her so much older. On the other hand I was sort of glad I had missed it. It must have been one hell of a growth spurt. But now she was stuck like this, frozen at seventeen forever.

I slowly crawled forward, reaching for her wrist. I could hear her shallow breathing, ragged and struggling. She was alive, but I had to check her pulse, I had to be sure she would be okay.

I flipped her hand, pressing my fingers to her wrist. Her pulse was steady. That was good, she was alright. She would heal; but it would scar.

I watched as the deep scarlet ran across her fair skin. She would live forever with the four jagged lines across her back, marring the perfect porcelain surface. And it was my fault.

I pulled away again, lightly brushing my hand over her long, delicate fingers.

_Piano fingers. _I smiled sadly to myself. I would never get the chance to teach her. In fact I would never get the chance to do anything with her. Never get to teach her piano, or take her shopping, or sneak her out to get her ears pierced when she wanted to. Things an aunt should get to do. I had ruined any chance I ever had.

I crawled back to where I had been, curled up tight and cried.

'''''''

They ran. They sprinted and ducked through the trees, desperate to find her scent. Desperate to save her in time. And finally, someone succeeded.

Esme Cullen was shocked. In fact, when she dropped to her knees at the scene before her, it took all her willpower not to breakdown and cry. Because she had found them, found them both. Not only her granddaughter, but her daughter as well.

No one spoke, not until Esme pulled out her phone, dialling the number that would connect her to her son. He picked up halfway through the first ring.

"Jasper. I've found them." She whispered, to stunned to realize that she had accidentally used the plural.

"Them?" he repeated.

"Renesmee... and Rosalie."

"Where?" His voice was hard.

"Far left of the Uley's." And he knew what she meant because they had been at the Uley's earlier, trying to get a clue as to where they should look.

He hung up without another word, appearing next to her not a minute later. He looked around, seeing the sobbing Rosalie, seeing his bleeding daughter unconscious on the ground. He walked slowly, taking measured steps to drop next to Renesmee on the slightly moist ground, his back facing Rosalie. He stroked her head, brushing away a few stray hairs from her face, his expression emotionless. He didn't look upset or angry or stunned, just blank.

"Who?" he whispered. "Who did this?"

Rosalie's moans got louder and she choked a little. He nodded silently, understanding what it had meant.

"Is it just her back?"

Rosalie sobbed louder again. Alice ran in from the other side of the clearing.

"Rose." She said quietly. It was her turn to be surprised. She swept her gaze to Esme who sat on her knees in the dirt, one arm over her mouth to keep from sobbing. Esme was staring intently in front of her, something Alice could not see through Jasper.

Carefully she stepped forward, moving closer, following Esme's stare. And then she saw her daughter lying bloody and torn on the ground.

"Oh God." She moaned. She stumbled over to Renesmee, dropping next to her, opposite Jasper. Her hands hovered over the gashes, desperate, frantically trying to understand.

"Who?" She breathed. So quiet a human would not have been able to hear. Esme inhaled deeply and Jasper closed his eyes. Alice looked up and caught Rosalie's stare. Rosalie rocked back and forth slowly, looking half deranged.

'''''''

_I know you didn't bring me out here to drown_

_So why am I ten feet under and upside down?_

'''''''

"You." Alice paused, unbelieving. "You did this?"

Rosalie said nothing. Alice let out a low groan and curled in on herself.

"Oh God. Please no. No, no, no, no..."

'''''''

_Barely surviving has become my purpose_

_I'm so used to living underneath the surface_

'''''''

Jasper kept his eyes closed as he spoke.

"Esme. Take Renesmee back to the house. Carlisle is waiting with medical supplies. Alice, go with them." He still had his hand lightly resting on the side of Renesmee's head. Suddenly, she coughed. Everyone froze, staring at her still closed eyes.

"D...d...da..." her voice trailed off. It was weak and raspy, extremely hushed.

"Renesmee?" Jasper pleaded. "C'mon talk to me. Are you awake?"

"D-don't... don't hurt..."

"What doesn't hurt?"

"R-Rose...don't h-hurt."

'''''''

_If I could just see you_

_Everything would be alright_

_If I'd see you_

_This darkness would turn to light_

'''''''

He looked behind him for a second, staring at Rosalie who had finally stopped rocking and was sitting, stunned.

"Don't hurt Rosalie?" he questioned. "I'm not going to hurt her, baby. I won't hurt her, I promise."

Renesmee whimpered, clenching her good hand into the dirt.

"It h-hurts." She whispered, voice slowly drifting off again.

"I know, sweetheart, I know it does. But you have to stay awake. We're gonna get you home, just stay awake for me."

She sighed softly in reply. Jasper shuffled over to her other side, now sitting beside Alice who was still hunched over.

"Esme, could you take her now? I'll follow after. I'd like to speak with Rosalie."

She nodded wordlessly before pulling herself from her knees to walk over. She kneeled down next to Renesmee, placing her hand on her waist.

"I have to roll you over dear. Is that alright?"

Renesmee nodded faintly.

"Okay. One, two, three." On the count of three, she pulled Renesmee toward herself, rolling her over the injured shoulder but trying carefully to lift her a small amount so as not to put too much pressure on it. Renesmee grunted in pain as her shoulder came into contact with the ground, holding herself at an awkward angle trying to keep it out of the dirt.

"Alright, when I lift you up it's going to hurt. I need you to bear with me because it's the only way to do this. You can scream and cry and do whatever you need to do. Whatever helps. Just stay awake until we get to the house."

Renesmee shuddered but nodded again, signalling her approval.

Esme whispered "I'm sorry sweetie." Before slowly reaching out to her. Jasper put his arms around Alice, pulling her up and into his embrace before pushing her face into the side of his neck. One of her ears was pressed to his shoulder, while the other he covered with one of his hands. They sat on their knees in the dirt and Alice wrapped her arms around him, digging her fingers into his back.

Esme carefully slid her hands under Renesmee, causing her to hiss as the fabric from her jacket touched the slashes. And Esme began to count again, preparing to lift her.

"One...two...three."

"Be strong." He whispered to Alice and both of their eyes were shut tightly.

Esme hoisted Renesmee into her arms.

The scream was blood-curdling. It sent shock through their systems and Rosalie looked as if she would be sick if it were possible. Alice shuddered and let out a choked whining noise before breaking down into hysterical sobs.

Esme was muttering to Renesmee as she screeched, trying to soothe her.

"I know Honey, I know it hurts. Hang in there. It's almost over. It's okay, it's okay."

Jasper spoke quietly to Alice.

"She's going to be okay. Calm down, it's alright. She needs you now; go with her." He pulled back to look at her face. She looked broken, like her soul had been sucked right out of her.

"She's strong." He gave a weak smile. "She learned it from her mom."

He pressed his lips to hers eagerly for a moment before pulling back and leaning their foreheads together.

"Go." He whispered. "I'll be there soon."

She nodded, fresh determination in her eyes before taking off with Esme to the house, her eyes never leaving the now sobbing and crying Renesmee.

Jasper turned to Rosalie. She still looked ill, as if she were going to be violently sick.

"I didn't mean to." She whispered brokenly. "I didn't know. I didn't know it was...that she... I thought..."

Jasper walked over calmly, sitting directly next to her facing the opposite direction. Wrapping his arms around and across her shoulders, he pulled her close and buried his face in her hair.

"I know." He said. "I know."

And together they sat quietly on the warm, shadowed forest floor.

'''''''

**Wow. That chapter was a lot longer than I expected. It was very emotional, I think but I kinda like how it turned out.**

**Anyway! I hope you guys are loving all these updates! I know I am.**

**You know what else I love? Reviews! Feel free to leave them! :D**

**Until next time,**

**-Lilly**

**Song Used:**

**Storm by Lifehouse**


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